“Every girl in the world was taught not to trust her
gut. Every girl in the world knew she was the fool in the play.”
Samantha Kolesnik’s insightful first novel, True Crime,
hypnotizes as it repels. Like a string of memories playing across the narrator’s
mind during a long and loose car ride, the novella delivers a Southern gothic tale
that calls to mind Flannery O’Connor or Shirley Jackson. The grim poetry of
Kolesnik’s writing style, however, is uniquely hers.
As Suzy meanders through some of the more eventful times in
her young life, you realize this is a narrator with the potential to be unreliable if she valued anyone’s opinion
enough to lie. But that doesn’t seem to be the case. Her story is mainly being articulated
for her own benefit, a way to measure her culpability, evaluate her options,
reflect on root causes and wrestle with the monster within.
True Crime is hardly an exercise in existential
angst, though, and that’s mainly because Suzy is such an enigmatic and yet
utterly straightforward character. Kolesnik’s prose is empathetic but not
forgiving, which creates a fascinating atmosphere.
The approach of depicting events as memories allows Kolesnik
the poetic license to focus just on the moments Suzy finds most compelling—the
truth behind the details, the cause and effect, the timeline and technical
details are rendered irrelevant. In their place Kolesnik offers a dead eyed but
dreamlike depiction of the ugliest side of life.
What sets the piece apart from others of the same subgenre
is the insight Kolesnik offers through the eyes of this young woman. She is both
victim and beast in degrees that frustrate and inform, her narrative containing
moments of genuine clarity concerning victimhood and the female form that
rarely emerge in horror fiction.
Kolesnik’s style, her ability to create something that’s simultaneously aimless and meticulous, entrances as it delivers a quick, effective punch. In its own way an indictment of true crime culture that has overtaken the nation, the writing feels quietly but deeply fascinated by the compulsion to wade into a grisly reality.
Like the contents of the magazines Suzy so loves, Kolesnik’s
tale contains a horrible beauty you can’t seem to look away from.
When we last saw Adam Kontras and his record-setting Delorean, one of them was on the side of an L.A. freeway engulfed in flames.
Fastest DeLorean in the World ended with that fiery cliffhanger, and now Kontras is back to finish the story with his second documentary feature, Fastest Delorean Part II.
Kontras, a Columbus native who bought the Delorean and turned it into a stunning replica of Marty McFly’s Back to the Future time machine, has for years been making his living in L.A. by renting out the vehicle for a variety of gigs.
That led to a desire for setting the Delorean speed record, which Kontras chronicled to stirring effect in Part I. But aside from all the cool car stuff, what really drove the first film is the human drama that developed between Adam and his gearhead brother Kenny.
The status of their relationship was as much an unanswered question as the car fire, and Kontras readily admits his sequel won’t mean much to anyone who hasn’t seen the first film.
“It’s the rightful conclusion to everything,” Kontras said.
Plus, from the Universal Studios backlot to Paris and beyond, we get first person accounts of the often amazing places the car has taken Kontras and his good friend Don Fullilove, who played Mayor Goldie Wilson in the Back to the Future films.
“Just like the first one, I’m very happy as a storyteller to have somehow pieced it all together,” Kontras said. “The scope of everything is pretty intense…but holy fuck, I wish I wasn’t in it.”
“I am so done with the drama, I did everything humanly possible to make Fastest DeLorean a nice redemption story.”
“There will not be a part III.”
There will be more documentaries, though. Kontras is set to announce his next project in January, one he describes as “a love fest that has nothing to do with family.”
Okay, but what about time travel?
Fastest DeLorean Part II is streaming now on Amazon.
It’s nearly Halloween, and it turns out that children’s hunger for age-appropriate scares rivals their taste for those elusive, full size trick-or-treat candy bars. Mmmmmm … chocolatey age-appropriate scares. Well, we’re here to help stave off starvation with these new- and old-school viewing options.
For the Very Young
Kiki’s Delivery Service (1989)
Hayao Miyazaki – often called Japan’s answer to Walt Disney – shares the sweetly magical tale of a budding young witch. Fun adventures befall the little witch-in-training, who becomes a baker’s courier to gain broom-flying skill. Kids will like the holiday feel, the cat and the hijinks with no worry of big scares.
For the Still Quite Wee
Wallace & Gromit in the Curse of the Were-Rabbit (2005)
This film is so utterly enjoyable, charming and silly that you almost miss the true ingenuity and craft in the animation itself. British placticine duo Wallace – inventor and cheese lover – and his silently worried dog, Gromit, take on the bunnies upsetting town gardeners. But things go all Halloweeney on them. This is the kind of film that begs to be scanned for its clever details (the town barbershop is called A Close Shave, for instance), but it’s the unselfconscious, innocent comedy and remarkable animation that make the film a stunning success. Wallace & Gromit belong in the highest echelon of doofus and silent sidekick comedy teams, and everyone in your family has reason to see their first full length feature.
Monsters, Inc. (2001)
A couple of best buds living in Monstropolis have to keep it under wraps that a child has infiltrated the city. She’s a serious risk of contamination – this is a real danger, actually, because children are filthy germ bags. And they’re often quite sticky. Pixar knows this, and alerts us to the potential epidemic via fuzzy monster characters. The animation is stunning. (Who doesn’t, right now, want to have a fuzzy blue Sulley doll?! You? What are you, a sociopath?)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FIW2OhcvQT8
Frankenweenie (2012)
In stellar black and white, Tim Burton animates the tale of a quiet young scientist and his undead dog. Odes to the classics of horror will entertain the parents (maybe even grandparents) in the audience, but the lovely boy/dog friendship, quirky school kids, and science-related peril will entertain the kids. Plus, Mr. Rzykurski (Martin Landau) is the most spectacular science teacher ever, as depicted in his speech to parents at the PTA meeting: “Ladies and gentlemen. I think the confusion here is that you are all very ignorant. Is that right word, ignorant? I mean stupid, primitive, unenlightened.”
For The Not Too Wee
The Nightmare Before Christmas (1993)
Back in 1993, Tim Burton produced the classic goth holiday extravaganza The Nightmare Before Christmas, having handed over his own sketches and story to director Henry Selick and the world’s coolest stop-action animators. Burton’s team, including Danny Elfman on tunes, assembled a lightheartedly macabre fantasy that artfully yet cataclysmically mixed America’s two most indulgent and excessive holidays. It was inspired.
Corpse Bride (2005)
The first animated film Tim Burton directed himself is equal parts wholesome and gruesome, somehow effortlessly combined. A nervous groom practices his wedding vows in a forest, unwittingly awakening a bride murdered on her wedding night. She misunderstands and accepts his promise of love. The reluctant groom is ushered into the afterlife, which is more like a cool blues club than a cloudy resting place, where he is welcomed by a delightfully grisly cast of characters.
The comedy is clever, the bride’s heartbreak is often genuinely poignant, and the rotty flesh is just as natural as the pre-wedding jitters. It’s no Jack Skellington, but it is close.
Monster House (2006)
This one is likely to scare little ones, what with its super creepy sideshow circus backdrop, scary old man and a house that actually eats people. Loads of endearing and interesting characters fall upon the kinds of everyday scares that bloom in a child’s imagination. Well written, honestly spooky, and eventually quite heart tugging, Monster House was a surprise Oscar nomination back in ’06, and is still an underseen Halloween gem.
Coraline (2009)
Coraline is a two-sided cautionary tale. For kids wishing for more attentive parents, be careful what you wish for. For parents disinterested in their tweens, danger lurks and lures your girls. Adapted for the screen and directed by Henry Selick (Nightmare Before Christmas), Coraline offers darkly magical visuals, quirky and creepy characters, and a surprisingly disturbing storyline. The film is clever and goth-gorgeous, but may be a little too creepy for kids under 10.
ParaNorman (2012)
“I see dead people” takes on new legs with this animated tale of the supernatural. ParaNorman celebrates cinematic horror with the story of a little boy whose closest buds are the goofy new kid and his own long-dead grandma. But Norman’s gift of seeing ghosts proves pretty beneficial when some witchy chicanery threatens the whole town. Plus, big props for including a gay couple in a family-friendly flick.
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Goosebumps 2: Haunted Halloween (2018)
The humor is silly but not stupid, the frights won’t bring nightmares, the town bully isn’t really that mean, and the town does Halloween like no place you’ve ever seen. It makes for an inviting setting, and once all those costumes and decorations come to life, there is plenty of lower-budget visual pop.
Goosebumps 2 has style, a winning cast, and winking nods to horror classics such as IT and Frankenstein. Plus, it makes books and science seem cool, and gets it all done in under 90 minutes. That adds up to one “fun-size” Halloween treat that doesn’t disappoint.
Though it’s only a few years old, Columbus, Ohio’s Nightmares Film Festival (NFF) has not only established itself as a can’t miss event for horror fans, but one with revered traditions.
One of those is the annual release of its “Early 13,” a baker’s dozen of early selections that serve as a preview of the tone and style of its October 24 to 27 event. This year’s first wave of programming includes premieres, genre icons and exciting new voices.
Among the early selections are films from Elija Wood (Mandy), Severin Fiala and Veronika Franz (Goodnight Mommy), and Travis Stevens (Cheap Thrills), as well as films helmed by women directors from around the world, and two filmmakers returning to Nightmares with new projects.
“The Early 13 is an exciting tradition for us, and has really become the unofficial start of the festival,” said NFF co-founder Jason Tostevin. “We do it because we want to give everyone a sense of the breadth and depth of the program that will take shape in October.”
Representatives of the major programming categories at Nightmares — horror, thriller and midnight; shorts and features — are included in the list, as are two films that will play as part of the fan-favorite Saturday block: the “Late Night Mind Fuck” program.
“We choose the Early 13 each year based on their high scores with the jury, and also for their alignment with the spirit of the fest and the tone of that year’s program,” said co-founder Chris Hamel. “Just like the full lineup, there is something for every genre fan in this preview.”
Submissions are still being considered for another month at Nightmares. The Early 13 films are the only submission decisions the festival makes before the Sept. 13 submission deadline, Tostevin said.
Nightmares Film Festival has been called one of the world’s best horror film festivals by every major genre outlet. It has maintained its position as the world’s top-rated genre festival on the submission platform FilmFreeway for 33 consecutive months.
FEATURES
SWALLOW – Second screening worldwide – Thriller Feature
Directorial debut of Carlo Mirabella-Davis. Starring Haley Bennet (The Magnificent Seven).
A newly pregnant housewife finds herself increasingly compelled to eat dangerous objects. As her husband and his family tighten their control over her life, she must confront the dark secret behind her new obsession. A “deeply unsettling feminist thriller” (Variety).
EAT, BRAINS, LOVE – North American Premiere – Horror Comedy Feature
A zombie road trip film based on the hit novel by Jeff Hart.
When Jake and his dream girl Amanda contract a mysterious zombie virus and eat the brains of half their senior class, they must elude the government’s hunter — a teen psychic — as they search for a cure.
THE OBSESSED – World Premiere – Late Night Mind Fuck Feature
From Italian extreme director Domiziano Cristopharo (Nightmares winner Torment). Based on the real-life story of Bjork stalker Ricardo Lopez. Albania’s first horror film.
Cristopharo presents this dark and deeply affecting tour of the mind of a madman, via a body horror film featuring practical FX, including a penis with a mouth, teeth and tongue included.
DANIEL ISN’T REAL – Regional Premiere – Midnight Feature
The newest film from Elijah Wood’s SpectreVision. Stars Arnold’s son Patrick Schwarzenegger.
Luke, a troubled a college freshman, resurrects his childhood imaginary friend Daniel to help him cope with a violent family trauma. But as Daniel’s influence grows, it pushes Luke into a desperate struggle for control of his mind — and his soul.
THE LODGE – Regional Premiere – Thriller Feature
From Austrian directors Severin Fiala and Veronika Franz (Goodnight Mommy).
Trapped inside a cabin by a fierce blizzard, two children and their future stepmother must fight for their lives against an unseen evil force.
THE GIRL ON THE THIRD FLOOR – Regional Premiere – Horror Feature
Directorial debut of hit genre producer Travis Stevens (Cheap Thrills). Stars C.M. Punk.
A man tries to renovate a dilapidated house for his growing family, only to learn that the house has other plans.
RECKONING – Midwest Premiere – Thriller Feature
Created by husband and wife team Lane and Ruckus Skye.
Miles from the nearest power grid, Lemon Cassidy scratches out a humble living in an isolated Appalachian farming community. Her life is tossed into chaos when two men from the oldest family on the mountain hold her son hostage until she can settle a debt her missing husband owes to their cold-hearted matriarch.
SHORTS
LIPPY – Horror Short
Directed by Lucy Campbell
England
Two girls enter an underground world of strange forfeits and grisly demands when they are caught stealing lipstick testers.
GASLIGHT – Thriller Short
Directed by Louisa Weichmann
Australia
A waitress waiting for her bus on a deserted road is stalked by a vampire.
CHANGELING – Midnight Short
Directed by Faye Jackson
Scotland
A new mother is increasingly mesmerised and appalled by the strange transformations happening around her baby.
BOO – Recurring Nightmares Short (returning filmmaker)
Directed by Rakefet Abergel
USA
A traumatic event forces a recovering addict to face her demons.
REUNION – Horror Comedy Short
Directed by Andrew Yontz
USA
A woman spends the night with her friends she hasn’t seen in 10 years only to find out they may have become serial killers.
LIMBO – Late Night Mind Fuck
Directed by Dani Viqueira
Spain
When his family resolves to flee him, a man becomes unmoored from reality.
Nightmares returns to Columbus’s Gateway Film Center with its 2019 edition October 24 to 27.
It’s true, and it has already been one hell of a year for film—documentary, in particular.
We’ve seen performances sure to be forgotten by awards season, so let us say right now that Elisabeth Moss (Her Smell), Emma Thompson (Late Night), Robert Pattinson (High Life) and Billie Lourd (Booksmart) top the list of must see acting glory in 2019.
What else? Well, DC finally got a real hit with the delightful Shazam! Meanwhile, MCU continued to make all the money with two really solid, fun and rewarding experiences: Avengers: End Game and Captain Marvel.
Which we all saw, statistically speaking. What did too few people see this year? Smart, funny R-rated comedies. Woefully underappreciated this year were Long Shot, Booksmart and Late Night. Please rectify this situation by the time these are available for home enjoyment.
10. Rocketman
Driven by a wonderfully layered performance from Taron Egerton – who also handles his vocal duties just fine – the film eschews the standard biopic playbook for a splendid rock and roll fantasy.
Writer Lee Hall penned Billy Elliot and Dexter Fletcher is fresh off co-directing Bohemian Rhapsody. Their vision draws from both to land somewhere between the enigmatic Dylan biopic I’m Not There and the effervescent ABBA glitter bomb Mamma Mia.
In the world of Rocketman, anything is possible. And even with all the eccentric flights of fancy, the film holds true to an ultimately touching honesty about the life story it’s telling.
9. How To Train Your Dragon: The Hidden World
The Hidden World offers so much more than just cute, and more than enough substance to solidify the entire Dragon saga as a top tier film trilogy.
This franchise has delivered true visual wonder since the original film’s opening frame, and part 3, taking natural advantage of enhanced technology, ups the ante. The aerial gymnastics and high seas swashbuckling are propelled by animation that is deep and rich, while new details in the dragons’ faces bring wonderful nuance and expression.
There is real tension here, along with warm humor, thrilling action pieces and resonant themes backed by genuine emotion. Packed with excitement, sincerity and visual amazeballs, The Hidden World ties a can’t-miss ribbon on a wonderful trilogy.
8. The Souvenir
The Souvenir rests at the hypnotic intersection of art and inspiration, an almost shockingly self-aware narrative from filmmaker Joanna Hogg that dares you to label its high level of artistry as pretense.
In her first major role, Honor Swinton Byrne is tremendously effective (which, given her lineage as Tilda Swinton’s daughter, should not be that surprising). In her hands, Hogg’s personal reflections are at turns predictable, foolish and frustrating, yet always sympathetic and achingly real.
The Souvenir is finely crafted as a different kind of gain from pain, one that benefits both filmmaker and audience. It is artful and cinematic in its love for art and cinema, honest and forgiving in its acceptance, and beautifully appreciative of how life shapes us.
7. Little Woods
Nia DaCosta’s feature directorial debut, which she also wrote, is an independent drama of the most unusual sort—the sort that situates itself unapologetically inside American poverty.
This is less a film about the complicated pull of illegal activity and more a film about the obstacles the American poor face—many of them created by a healthcare system that serves anyone but our own ill and injured.
But politically savvy filmmaking is not the main reason to see Little Woods. See it because Tessa Thompson and Lily James are amazing, or because the story is stirring and unpredictable.
See it because it’s what America actually looks like.
6. Us
Even as writer/director Jordan Peele lulls us with familiar surroundings and visual quotes from The Lost Boys, Jaws, then Funny Games, then The Strangers and Night of the Living Dead and beyond, Us is far more than a riff on some old favorites. A masterful storyteller, Peele weaves together these moments of inspiration not simply to homage greatness but to illustrate a larger, deeper nightmare. It’s as if Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland turned into a plague on humanity.
Do the evil twins in the story represent the darkest parts of ourselves that we fight to keep hidden? The fragile nature of identity? “One nation” bitterly divided?
You could make a case for these and more, but when Peele unveils his coup de grace moment (which would make Rod Serling proud), it ultimately feels like an open-ended invitation to revisit and discuss, much like he undoubtedly did for so many genre classics.
While it’s fun to be scared stiff, scared smart is even better, a fact Jordan Peele has clearly known for years.
Guess who he’s reminding now?
5. Shadow
Yimou Zhang rebounds from The Great Wall with a rapturous wuxia wonder, one nearly bursting with visual amazements and endlessly engrossing storytelling.
Taking us to ancient China’s “Three Kingdoms” era, director/co-writer Zhang (Hero, House of Flying Daggers, Raise the Red Lantern) creates a tale of martial artistry, lethal umbrellas and political intrigue gloriously anchored in the philosophy of yin and yang.
While the tragedies and backstabbings recall Shakespeare, Dickens and Dumas, Zhang rolls out hypnotic tapestries filled with lavish costumes, rich set pieces and thrilling sound design, all perfectly balanced to support the film’s dualistic anchor.
Working mainly in shades of charcoal grey with effectively deliberate splashes of color, Zhang creates visual storytelling of the grandest spectacle and most vivid style. There’s little doubt this film could be enjoyed even without benefit of subtitles, while the intricate writing and emotional performances combine for an experience that entertains and enthralls.
https://youtu.be/ySgN82k20xQ
4. Apollo 11
A majestic and inspirational marriage of the historic and the cutting edge, Apollo 11 is a monumental achievement from director Todd Douglas Miller, one full of startling immediacy and stirring heroics.
There is no flowery writing or voiceover narration, just the words and pictures of July 1969, when Americans walked on the moon and returned home safely.
This is living, breathing history you’re soaking in. And damn is it thrilling.
From the capsule “home movies” of Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin, to the mission control checklists and ticking event countdowns, Apollo 11 immerses you in moments that will elicit breathlessness for the drama, pride for the science, respect for the heroism and awe for the wonder.
3. Amazing Grace
Already a living legend in January of 1972, Aretha Franklin wanted her next album to be a return to her gospel roots. Over two nights at the New Temple Baptist Church in Los Angeles, Aretha recorded live with the Reverend James Cleveland’s Southern California Community Choir as director Sydney Pollack rolled cameras for a possible TV special.
While it resulted in the biggest-selling gospel album in history, problems with syncing the music to the film kept the footage shelved for decades. Armed with the latest tech wizardry, producer/co-director Alan Elliot finally brings Amazing Grace to a glorious finish line.
To see Franklin here is to see her at the absolute apex of her powers. taking that voice-of-a-lifetime wherever she pleases with an ease that simply astounds. Even with the recording session stop/starts that Elliot includes for proper context, Aretha’s hold on the congregation (which include the Stones’ Mick Jagger and Charlie Watts) is a come-to-Jesus revelation.
So is the film. It’s a thrilling, absolute can’t-miss testament to soul personified.
2. They Shall Not Grow Old
Peter Jackson may bring us as close to comprehending war as any director has, not by dramatizing the horror or by reenacting it, but by revisiting it.
The Oscar winning director and noted World War I fanatic sifted through hundreds of hours of decomposing footage, restoring the material with a craftsmanship and integrity almost as unfathomable as war itself.
Over this he layered audio from interviews with WWI veterans into a cohesive whole, taking us from the wide-eyed patriotism that drew teenagers to volunteer, through their training and then—with a Wizard of Oz-esque moment of color, depth and clarity—into battle.
The fact that this immersion pulls you 100 years into the past is beyond impressive, but the real achievement is in the intimacy and human connection it engenders.
The clarity of the faces, the tremor in the voices, the camaraderie and filth and death—all of it vivid as life. It’s as informative as it is enthralling, an equally amazing achievement in filmmaking and in education.
1. Toy Story 4
Josh Cooley (who co-wrote Inside Out) makes his feature directorial debut with this installment. He also contributes, along with a pool of eight, to a story finalized by Pixar veteran Andrew Stanton (his credits include the three previous Toy Story films) and relative newcomer Stephany Folsom.
The talents all gel, combining the history and character so beautifully articulated over a quarter century with some really fresh and very funny ideas. Toy Story 4 offers more bust-a-gut laughs than the last three combined, and while it doesn’t pack the emotional wallop of TS3 (what does?!), it hits more of those notes than you might expect.
Characteristic of this franchise, the voice cast is stellar, the peril is thrilling, the visuals glorious, the sight gags hilarious, and the life lessons far more emotionally compelling than what you’ll find in most films this summer. To its endless credit, TS4 finds new ideas to explore and fresh but organic ways to break our hearts.
Laurie Strode, Ellen Ripley and Sidney Prescott were not final girls. They were heroes.
Laurie Strode, Ellen Ripley and Sidney Prescott were the point of view characters for their films, not random females we were surprised to see survive. Had any of these three perished, that would have been the surprise.
The phrase “final girl” suggests that, from a smorgasbord of victims, one female emerges victorious. How does she do it?
1. She is smarter than the rest and outwits the killer.
2. She is more virtuous than the rest, so fate is on her side.
3. She endures pain, grief, terror and hardship and comes out the other side a stronger person.
If those are not the steps in a hero’s quest, I don’t know what are. (No, seriously, I don’t know what the steps are in a hero’s quest. I should probably have looked it up, but still, I feel confident they’re similar.)
The characteristics of the final girl are simply the characteristics of the hero, and her perspective is the audience’s perspective.
She’s the lead.
To disregard this and assume that this would-be victim didn’t die because she holds in her bosom certain character traits is to actually belittle the character. John McClane outwitted terrorists, showed integrity and grit, and endured a ton of hardship in his bare feet. Is he not the hero?
What about Schwarzenegger in Predator? Not a lot of dudes made it out the other side of that one – does that make Arnold the Final Boy?
And how about Captain America? Smart, virtuous, endurance – hell, he’s probably even a virgin.
Are you here to tell me The Cap is not a hero?
So what’s the difference? Why label the badass who sends Pinhead back to hell nothing more than the last girl onscreen? Why does’t she get to be the hero? Hasn’t she proven herself? I’d like to see you try your luck with Pinhead.
I’m overgeneralizing, you think. Are there heroes who do not carry with them these vital characteristics, you wonder.
No. Those damaged, dangerous and layered leads are anti-heroes. Someday when the slutty Goth girl with a heroin jones is the last one standing, then the slasher will finally have its anti-hero. But for now, Jason and Pinhead and Leatherface and Michael Myers and all of them are undone by the hero.
Well first of all Richard Armitage is in this Robin Hood rendition as the baddie, which should be reason enough to suffer through three seasons. But despite having headlined the HobbitTravesty Trilogy as Thorin Oakenshield, and recently played the douchebag arm candy of Ocean’s 8, he has not gained the recognition he deserves. So I’m here to tell you that I saw Richard Armitage play John Proctor in an incredible production of The Crucible at The Old Vic in London, summer 2014, and he was fucking incredible. So catch up.
But this isn’t about Richard Armitage (yes it is). This is about the wonderfully horrible Robin Hood of BBC One. The first episode features Robin Hood making out with a buxom babe (with incredibly modern blue eyeshadow up to her eyebrows) and then backflipping off of a barn for…some reason.
If you get through the first season, you have absolutely no excuse not to get through the next two. You won’t want to miss when the gang makes it to the Holy Land or when they lose the one female main character, so they replace her with a new, singular female character.
Featuring: Coked Out Thorin Oakenshield and The Pit of Snakes from Raiders of the Lost Ark
Watch it because: Every time Robin makes a good shot, they show the arrow shooting from five different angles JUST LIKE when two characters accidentally kiss in an anime.
Seasons: 5 Status: Ongoing (but a little random) Watch it on: Hulu
First, turn on subtitles. Nope, not kidding. Yes, they are Canadian. Yes, you still need the subtitles until you can catch up with the insane and hilarious cadence that lives on this show. Otherwise you’ll miss … basically the entire show.
Letterkenny takes place in a small town. Called Letterkenny. And it follows a man (Wayne), his sister (Katy), and his two closest friends (Daryl and Dan). There are some plotlines, mostly on finding love and glory in a small shitty town, but the real treat is just living in the same world as the whole host of quirky characters.
The humor is dry and almost entirely based on how everyone speaks (see: the hockey bros). You won’t want to be on your phone for this binge, you’ll be reading your English subtitles as fast as you can to keep up. And then you’ll have watched the entire show faster than you can say “Pitter patter, let’s get at ‘er”.
Featuring: Terrifying Locals and One Punch Knockouts
Watch it because: You didn’t know cyber goths were a thing but now you see them everywhere.
Just eight best picture nominations this year and a list of contenders that clarifies what a kickass year 2018 was for female roles. Well done, chicas!
Do we have gripes? Well, honestly, not too many. Here’s the rundown.
SUPPORTING ACTRESS
This is a good list. Strong. Not a lot of bones to pick here. Our heart goes out to anyone trying to narrow this field down to a single winner. Wouldn’t have minded seeing Nicole Kidman (Boy Erased) or Thomasin McKenzie (Leave No Trace) get in, but how to make the room?
Amy Adams (Vice)
Marina de Tavira (Roma)
Regina King (If Beale Street Could Talk)
Emma Stone (The Favourite)
Rachel Weisz (The Favourite)
SUPPORTING ACTOR
We love Sam Elliott. Honestly, who doesn’t? Driver and Rockwell, too, and all were amazing in their respective films. But we would have had to leave them off in favor of Michael B. Jordan (Black Panther) and Lucas Hedges (Boy Erased). But no Timothee Chalamet for Beautiful Boy? That might be the biggest snub this year.
Mahershala Ali (Green Book)
Adam Driver (BlacKkKlansman)
Sam Elliott (A Star is Born)
Richard E. Grant (Can You Ever Forgive Me?)
Sam Rockwell (Vice)
LEAD ACTOR
Another solid list, although how the entire world ignored three insane performances from Joaquin Phoenix this year—You Were Never Really Here, Don’t Worry He Won’t Get Far on Foot, The Sisters Brothers—is beyond us. Please, please do yourself the favor and watch You Were Never Really Here. We’d have given him Mortensen’s slot, but we and the Academy disagree about that one particular film this year.
We would also have made room for Ben Foster (Leave No Trace) with a Malek/Dafoe coin flip.
Christian Bale (Vice)
Bradley Cooper (A Star is Born)
Willem Dafoe (At Eternity’s Gate)
Rami Malek (Bohemian Rhapsody)
Viggo Mortensen (Green Book)
LEAD ACTRESS
We would have applauded nods for Elsie Fisher in Eighth Grade and Toni Collette for Hereditary, but holy cow, people, this is acting. This is the art and the craft, right here. No bones. No complaints. Just awe.
Yalitza Aparicio (Roma)
Glenn Close (The Wife)
Olivia Coleman (The Favourite)
Lady Gaga (A Star is Born)
Melissa McCarthy (Can You Ever Forgive Me?)
ADAPTED SCREENPLAY
Had hoped for Black Panther and Leave No Trace (in a whiplashed swing from “everybody saw” to “nobody saw”). Buster Scruggs was a surprise, but when is it ever a bad idea to nominate the Coens?
The Ballad of Buster Scruggs (Joel and Ethan Coen) BlacKkKlansman (Charlie Wachtel, David Rabinowitz, Kevin Willmott, Spike Lee) Can You Ever Forgive Me? (Nicole Holofcener, Jeff Whitty) If Beale Street Could Talk (Barry Jenkins) A Star is Born (Eric Roth, Bradley Cooper Will Fetters)
ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY
What we would have given to see Bo Burnham’s Eighth Grade get some love here. Where would we have put it? Honestly, only The Favourite and Roma are better written, but in our book, it certainly deserved the slot designated to the self-congratulatory Green Book.
The Favourite (Deborah Davis, Tony McNamara) First Reformed (Paul Schrader) Green Book (Nick Vallelonga, Brian Hayes Currie, Peter Farrelly) Roma (Alfonso Cuaron) Vice (Adam McKay)
DOCUMENTARY FEATURE
Don’t mind the overrated Shirkers not making it, but shocked not to see Won’t You Be My Neighbor? here.
Free Solo
Hale County: This Morning, This Evening
Minding the Gap
Of Fathers and Sons
RBG
FOREIGN LANGUAGE FEATURE
Um…Burning? Really, did you just forget?
Capernaum
Cold War
Never Looks Away
Roma
Shoplifters
CINEMATOGRPHY
We’re a little surprised not to see If Beale Street Could Talk or First Man included, but none of these are weak.
Cold War
The Favourite
Never look away
Roma
A Star is Born
ANIMATED
This is just a fight for second place after Spider-Verse.
Incredibles 2
Isle of dogs
Mirai
Ralph Breaks the Internet
Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse
DIRECTOR
Would have cheered for Lynne Ramsay (YWNRH), surprised not to see Bradley Cooper (A Star is Born) and disappointed not to see Ryan Coogler (Black Panther), but how great is it to see Pawel Pawlikowski make this list for his groundbreaking love story Cold War? Pretty great. (Also, Oscar likes black and white movies.)
Lee, Lanthimos and Cuaron, though, that is a trifecta we applaud until our hands ache.
Spike Lee (BlacKkKlansman)
Pawel Pawlikowski (Cold War)
Yorgos Lanthimos (The Favourite)
Alfonso Cuaron (Roma)
Adam McKay (Vice)
FILM
Only eight this year, which means we can wish for two without having to bump any. We wish for Eighth Grade and Hereditary. Then we’d bump Bohemian Rhapsody and admitted frontrunner Green Book in favor of Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse and You Were Never Really Here. There you go. We’ve dreamed up a nice list.
Black Panther
BlacKkKansman
Bohemian Rhapsody
The Favourite
Green Book
Roma
A Star is Born
Vice
The 91st annual Academy Awards will air Feb. 24th on ABC.
Seasons: 1 Status: Season 2 coming 2019 Watch it on: Netflix
This ain’t the laugh track Sabrina you remember. This is bolder. Sexier. This is Sabrina with 666% more Satan. This is Sabrina taking place one town over from Riverdale.
The best part about Sabrina is that it takes place outside of time, much like Riverdale. Both series feature teenagers running amok with seemingly adult lives, unlimited time and money, and extremely limited supervision. Both series are also based on their respective comics. And, both series feature clothing and lifestyles that seem liberated by 2018 sensibilities in a weirdly 1950s setting.
While Riverdale flung Archie characters into a bizarre CW murder-mystery fan fiction, there was already much darker source material for The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina in a comic by the same name.
Sabrina has a refreshing arc that boils down to: How do I continue my life as a progressive young feminist AND harvest the undeniable power of Satan? Featuring more than one character of color and a gender fluid bff, CAOS shoots for progressive and lands somewhere near We’re Getting There.
You’ll have to forgive some (read: most) of its plot points (How does mining BY HAND sustain this city in the year of our dark lord…2018? 1950? What year is it?). You’ll also have to redefine what you mean by “good guys.” (Did she just say she misses eating long pig?) But you’ll be rewarded with some truly What The Fuck moments and the reincarnation of Salem the Cat’s sass into a sexy pansexual cousin on house arrest.
Featuring: The Statue that the Satanic Church is suing over
Watch it because:Riverdale doesn’t have enough actual Satanic worship for your taste.
