Category Archives: Outtakes

Movie-related whatnot

Countdown: Top 5 Worst “Bests”

We are thrilled that the Academy honored 12 Years a Slave as the best picture of 2013. We could not agree more wholeheartedly. They made the right decision this year. Sometimes, they don’t.

Here’s our take on the worst films to win best picture, but not the worst choice in a category. When John Ford’s bland How Green Was My Valley can take the prize from Citizen Kane, you come to realize that the Academy sometimes can’t tell a true masterpiece from a decent film.

Rather than point to short-sighted votes that gave a certain year’s top prize to a lesser nominee, let us commemorate bad films of the last 40 years that had no business being nominated, let alone winning. So, yes, Ordinary People should never have beaten Raging Bull, but it’s not a bad movie. You know what is a bad movie? Crash.

 

Crash (2004)

Crash is a movie Robert Altman might have made had Altman been lobotomized. Trite, self-important, self-congratulatory, pretentious and backhandedly racist, Paul Haggis’s film is a travesty that should have withered and died without an audience.

In an interview before the film was released, Haggis revealed that he and his wife had been victims of a carjacking, which became the inspiration for the film. Two young black men stole not only their car, but the video they were returning. Because the video was a foreign film, Haggis says, he decided to leave that detail out of his movie. He didn’t think the audience would believe it. Which is to say, he was so bothered that these thugs fit the stereotype that he decided to write a film about the experience, leaving out the part where the thugs did not fit the stereotype.

 

Forrest Gump (1994)

Schmaltzy, sentimental, sanctimonious, manipulative nonsense. There may be no film more contrived to knee jerk its audience toward shallow, meaningless, feel good self-congratulation than this. The ever-likeable Tom Hanks creates an amiable simpleton we can all root for and mock simultaneously without feeling badly about ourselves.

 

A Beautiful Mind (2001)

A slick, hollow Hollywood cliché of one-dimensional heroes struggling to be the heroes we know they really are. Don’t look for nuance or layers or flaws. Struggles, yes. Flaws? No. These are admirable people behaving admirably despite their heart-wrenching circumstances. Plus, aren’t they pretty?

 

 

Out of Africa (1985)

Redford! Streep! The manly hunter and the baroness find romance among the sweeping scenery of Colonial Africa! Nice to look at, maybe, but there’s no chemistry here, very little of anything to hold your attention, and after two and a half hours of relentless boredom, you’re so glad it’s over you can’t even think to ask “is that it?”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9gYlSGUTthw

 

Shakespeare in Love (1998)

All these years later, far removed from the tales of a historic studio campaign that successfully overcame the shadow of Saving Private Ryan, you look at Shakespeare in Love and see little more than a star-studded TV movie. Fluffy and slight, this choice will continue to age ungracefully.

 

Outtakes: We Miss Him Already

It would be hard to overstate Harold Ramis’s impact on American comedy cinema. He wrote and/or directed Animal House, Meatballs, National Lampoon’s Vacation, Caddyshack, Stripes, Ghostbusters, and Groundhog Day.

That is insane.

Few writers in history can boast the same level of affect on popular culture. How many Ramis-penned lines have found their way into our lexicon?

Don’t sell yourself short, Judge. You’re a tremendous slouch.

This chick is toast!

Don’t cross the streams.

Be the ball.

The last time I saw a mouth like that, it had a hook in it.

Any of you guys call me Francis, and I’ll kill you.

We just want to get back to our hotel rooms and have some really serious sex.

Hell, basically ever word of Caddyshack is now commonplace American vernacular.

His writing was genius because his characters were somehow both ordinary and memorable – guys we know or wish we knew. (It helps that Bill Murray so often collaborated or flat-out improvised.)

Perhaps no American filmmaker has had more of an influence on the subsequent generation of artists than Ramis, whose writing managed to be simultaneously goofball and intelligent, his films impeccably crafted and open to improvisation. Plus, he seemed like a good guy.

Take some time to celebrate Harold Ramis and laugh your ass off in the process. Here, in chronological order, are our favorites:

Animal House (1978)

Harold Ramis co-wrote the greatest frat movie ever made. All others have been pale impersonators of this ingenious ode to the drunken college misfit. Remembered mostly as the springboard for John Belushi’s volcanic career, Animal House remains one of the smartest and best scripted comedies of the Seventies – an era lousy with excellent American films.

Quote: Well, you can do whatever you want to us, but we’re not going to sit here and listen to you badmouth the United States of America!

 

Meatballs (1979)

Writer Ramis’s first collaboration with director Ivan Reitman takes the wearied tale of a wacky summer camp and gives it some fresh hijinks and interesting characters, while reminding modern viewers that things were just different in the Seventies. Primarily known as Bill Murray’s first proof as a cinematic lead, the film still crackles with the comedic sensibilities that would mark Ramis’s entire career.

Quote: Attention. Here’s an update on tonight’s dinner. It was veal. I repeat, veal. The winner of tonight’s mystery meat contest is Jeffrey Corbin who guessed “some kind of beef.”

 

Caddyshack (1980)

Few films if any have riffed on the “haves versus have-nots” as delightfully as Ramis’s directorial debut, Caddyshack. We get to witness Bushwood’s country club elite deal with the new money riff raff – as well as gophers – invading their grounds. Murray is at his genius apex in this one as assistant groundskeeper Carl Spackler, a performance so great you might not appropriately appreciate the genius turns by Ted Knight and Rodney Dangerfield. Among the best comedies ever filmed, and certainly the greatest film golf can ever hope to see, Caddyshack is indispensible viewing.

Quote: How ’bout a Fresca?

 

Stripes (1981)

Writing with Meatballs co-scriptors Len Blum and Dan Goldberg, Ramis delivers director Ivan Reitman his second gem of a film. Stripes is the definitive military comedy, and the first onscreen pairing of Ramis as the egghead counterpoint to Bill Murray’s wiseacre lead. The duo is a scream, and their bootcamp adventure offers a timeless comedy.

Quote: Chicks dig me because I rarely wear underwear, and when I do, it’s usually something unusual.

 

National Lampoon’s Vacation (1983)

In ’83, Ramis turned his attention to a vehicle for Chevy Chase rather than Bill Murray, and Chase did not disappoint. Directing a script by John Hughes (The Breakfast Club), Ramis kept the pace quick and the comedy quicker in this road trip masterpiece.

Quote: Walleyworld’s closed. Moose outside shoulda told you.

 

Ghostbusters (1984)

Reitman and Ramis had their most financially successful collaboration with this classic that introduced the term ectoplasm to the world. Ramis writes and once again plays nerdy straight man to Murray’s smart ass in a buoyant, joyous film that was, surprisingly enough for Ramis’s work, family appropriate. And hilarious.

Quote: This Mr. Stay Puft’s OK. He’s a sailor, he’s in New York. We get this guy laid, we won’t have any trouble.

 

Groundhog Day (1993)

Ramis perfected the blend of intelligence, cynicism and good nature in this ingenious film about a selfish diva weatherman cursed to relive the same day until he can finally do it right. Insightful comedies like this are rare, and the screenplay, in particular, is a gem. Smart, sweet, compassionate and funny, Groundhog Day was Ramis’s last great effort.

Quote: This is one time where television really fails to capture the true excitement of a large squirrel predicting the weather.

 

RIP Mr. Ramis, we miss you already.

Countdown: Who Wins the Oscars?

 

 

Sunday night, we invite you to join us at the Drexel Theatre, as we are once again pleased to host their annual Red Carpet Oscar Bash! You’ll have a chance to win great prizes if you can correctly pick the most winners, and on that note…here’s how we think the night will go:

Best Film

Will Win: 12 Years a Slave

American Hustle and Gravity are strong contenders, but we think voters will do the right thing and award this magnificent piece of filmmaking with its just due.

Should Win: 12 Years a Slave

Though the year offered a boon of wonderful, imaginative, powerful films, nothing quite compares to the meticulously created, absolutely visceral period piece.

 

Best Actor

Will Win: Matthew McConaughey in Dallas Buyers Club

McConaughey will be rewarded for turning a career’s worth of lazy rom-com roles into two of the most impressive years in any working actor’s career.

Should Win: Chiwetel Ejiofor in 12 Years a Slave

Unfortunately, McConaughey’s achievement will be at the cost of a phenomenal talent’s most blistering and brilliant performance, and hands down the best lead turn from an actor this year.

 

Best Actress

Will Win: Cate Blanchett in Blue Jasmine

From her opening moments as Jasmine, the wildly talented and uniquely versatile Blanchett owned the film and the audience.

Should Win: Cate Blanchett

Amy Adams is going to have to take home an Oscar one of these days, and her turn in American Hustle certainly deserves consideration, but Blanchett took a gift of a part and created an unforgettable character.

 

Best Supporting Actor

Will Win: Jared Leto in Dallas Buyers Club

Leto brings tenderness and tragedy to the belt-buckle-and-cowboy-hat tale Dallas Buyers Club with a beautifully dimensional performance, and his win is the second surest bet this awards season.

Should Win: Michael Fassbender in 12 Years a Slave

Fassbender will be ignored again by the Academy (who failed to even notice his devastating turn in 2011’s Shame), and that’s a shame in itself because his performance in 12 Years a Slave was more explosive, fearless and honest than anything he’s done, which is saying a lot.

 

Best Supporting Actress

Hope Says

Will Win: Lupita Nyong’o in 12 Years a Slave

She won the SAG, Golden Globe, and even the coveted Central Ohio Film Critics Association award for her work. Oscar will follow.

Should Win: Lupita Nyong’o

At first glance, Nyongo’s performance as field slave Patsy seemed a tad heavy handed, but as the character’s hellish existence is slowly revealed, we realize that this performer has found a way to make the unimaginable a reality.

George Says

Will Win: Jennifer Lawrence in American Hustle

Though it wouldn’t surprise me at all if Nyong’o does win, I just have a hunch that Lawrence (who also won a Golden Globe as American Hustle was in the comedy category) will prevail.

Should Win: Jennifer Lawrence

It really is a toss up, but I give JLaw the edge for stealing the movie right out from under the the best ensemble cast of the year. “Science oven” for the win!

 

Best Director

Will Win: Alfonso Cuaron for Gravity

This is a tough call. Basically, we think the best directing and best film nods will be split between Gravity and 12 Years a Slave. Last year, Ang Lee took the honor mostly for the technical/craftsman merits of his Life of Pi. We think Cuaron will receive the same treatment for the unarguably superior Gravity.

Should Win: Steve McQueen for 12 Years a Slave

It’s McQueen’s first dance with Oscar, and though his efforts in drawing performances, staging an epic, and keeping dusty old history as visceral and present as any other film this year are magnificent, we think the voters might side with Cuaron’s technical mastery.

 

Best Original Screenplay

Will Win: American Hustle

It’s a dazzling work of writing, heartfelt and character driven, funny and touching, full of excitement and spot-on with period. Plus, David O. Russell’s never cashed in on his 5 nominations, so it’s probably time.

Should Win: Her

Spike Jonze’s uncommon voice and vision turned out the year’s loveliest and most original love story, and the sheer uniqueness of the project deserves the Oscar.

 

Best Adapted Screenplay

Will Win: 12 Years a Slave

It’s simply the strongest contender.

Should Win: 12 Years a Slave

The ability to take a text more than a century and a half old, and from it create multi-dimensional characters and achingly relevant conflict, is a talent that needs to be recognized.

 

Enjoy the Oscars!

Fright Club, Round 2: Eden Lake

 

Join George and Hope this Friday night, 11:30, at Studio 35 Cinema and Drafthouse for Round 2 of Fright Club! We’re showing the underseen indie horror gem Eden Lake starring Michael Fassbender. It’s a unique and terrifying picture that deserves a big audience. Enjoy some of Studio 35’s great draft beers and hang out with some scary film fanatics – what could be better?

Studio 35 is located at 3055 Indianola Avenue. Tickets are $5. Drink specials abound.

Join us!

Countdown: Off-Kilter Valentine Options

Sure, you can cozy up to The Princess Bride or Love, Actually this Valentine’s Day – nothing wrong with that. But if you’re looking for something a little less run-of-the-mill, maybe even something everyone in the room can enjoy, try one of our five favorite love stories.

5. Wall-E (2008)

Pixar’s Oscar winning interstellar adventure offers an underdog journey with the fate of mankind in the balance, but at its heart is the story of one little trash collector’s love for a girl who’s out of his league. The animation is astonishing, and the voice work stellar, but it’s the long, sweet-hearted scenes without a word that communicate so much.

4. Say Anything

Who doesn’t love Lloyd Dobbler? Is anyone immune? No, and that’s why Say Anything is the perfect Valentines’s Day date movie. Funny, clever, endlessly quotable and unabashedly romantic – not to mention being oh-so-1989 (nice boombox, Lloyd!) – it’s a romantic comedy to please every lover in the crowd.

Quote: I gave her my heart, she gave me a pen.

3. Harold and Maude (1971)

If you’re looking for something a bit more uncomfortable, how about the sexy exploits of a septuagenerian and her morbidly obsessed young beau? One of director Hal Ashby’s best efforts, this provocative dark comedy challenges expectations and breaks hearts.

Quote: It’s best not to be too moral. You cheat yourself out of too much life. Aim above morality.

2. Shaun of the Dead (2004)

Writer/director Edgar Wright teams with writer/star Simon Pegg to lovingly mock the slacker generation, 80s pop, and George Romero with this riotous flesh eating romance. But what is easy to overlook is the genuine craftsmanship that went into making this zom-rom-com. It’s a fresh, vivid explosion of entertainment.

Quote: How’s that for a slice of fried gold?

1. Bull Durham (1988)

When the very best romantic comedy also happens to be one of the very best sports movies ever filmed, well, you’ve got yourself a Valentine date to please everyone in the audience. Susan Sarandon and Kevin Costner at the apex of their sexiness banter back and forth about baseball and metaphysics while we learn what minor league ball is really about. It’s brilliantly written, hilarious and perfectly performed. It’s the world’s most perfect date movie.

Quote: Despite my rejection of most Judeo-Christian ethics, I am, within the framework of the baseball season, monogamous.

In Memoriam, Philip Seymour Hoffman

The world of acting felt a profound loss this weekend with the passing of Philip Seymour Hoffman, among the most versatile and gifted actors of this or any generation.

He began his career playing variations on the theme of whining rich boy, but an artistic partnership with the brilliant filmmaker Paul Thomas Anderson highlights Hoffman’s magnificent range. From lonely and misguided Scotty in Boogie Nights, to Punch Drunk Love’s volatile Alpha dog Dean, to the deeply decent and compassionate nurse Phil in Magnolia, Hoffman’s ability to bring a character’s humanity to the surface is evident.

He had a particular gift for supporting roles. Ensemble work seemed a joy to him, and his small roles in The Big Lebowski, Along Came Polly, Hard Eight, Moneyball, Strangers with Candy, Cold Mountain, Almost Famous, and The Ides of March contributed immeasurably to the artistic success of the films. In fact, he’s the only thing about Polly worth remembering, and he is hilarious. There is truly not a single film or performance that doesn’t deserve a mention. His few onscreen minutes in Catching Fire elevated the entire Hunger Games series, giving its underlying conspiracies and machination a chess match brilliance. He was even great in the teen zombie comedy My Boyfriend’s Back. The guy was a genius.

Hoffman was the definition of an actor. His talent was breathtaking. He breathed the rarified air shared only with Daniel Day-Lewis and Meryl Streep, and his skill and presence will be deeply, sorely missed.

Here, in chronological order, is our list of essential Philip Seymour Hoffman viewing.

Boogie Nights (1997)

Here’s where we fell in love with Philip Seymour Hoffman. He plays Scotty, the overweight and underappreciated camera grip in Paul Thomas Anderson’s porn–industry-as-dysfunctional-family-comedy-drama.  A heartbreakingly awkward punching bag for the good looking talent, Scotty’s limited screen time is acting perfection.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l-vf8-1FE4Q

 

Happiness (1998)

Todd Solondz’s unforgettable black comedy benefits from a subversively brilliant screenplay and an ensemble who relished the outrageous opportunities that piece of writing held. Every performance in the film is a thing of beauty, including Hoffman’s creepy obscene phone caller Allen. The climactic scene with the object of his twisted adoration, played by Lara Flynn Boyle, is a work of dark comic genius.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r-3oeveop4o

 

Magnolia (1999)

Another true ensemble piece, the film’s steadiest heartbeat is the down-to-earth home health care nurse played by Hoffman. He approached the role with understatement and unveiled a level of compassion that not only characterized this man’s calling, but allowed the audience to find a way to empathize with the rest of the less likeable characters. It’s a beautifully nuanced and deeply authentic performance.

 

Almost Famous (2000)

As legendary rock critic Lester Bangs, Hoffman gives Almost Famous its critical reference point, as the middle ground between the two worlds the young William (Patrick Fugit) is juggling.  Even with limited screen time, Hoffman conveys a funny, heartfelt, and deceptively sad persona that is essential to the film’s success.

 


Capote
(2005)

Hoffman received his first Oscar nomination for the 2005 biopic, which makes you wonder where the Academy’s heads had been the previous ten years. He won for his unerring turn in this beautifully observed film about the writing of Capote’s masterpiece In Cold Blood. Never one to shy away from a character’s faults, Hoffman unveiled an equally sympathetic and mercenary soul as the writer befriends inmate Perry Smith.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mwpVqRLsVSI

 

Charlie Wilson’s War (2007)

The year 2007 was a big one for Hoffman. He garnered an Oscar nomination for his supporting turn as Gus Avrakotos, government agent working with senator and playboy Charlie Wilson (Tom Hanks) to assist Afghanistan rebels in their war with Russia. It was one of three performances that year that could easily have earned Hoffman his second Oscar, each as different from the other as performances could be. He gives needed edge and weight, as well as biting humor, to a film that could have been too sentimental otherwise.

 

The Savages (2007)

Also that year, dream team Hoffman and Laura Linney play a brother and sister faced with caring for their aged, abusive father.  Full of brilliant, darkly funny insights on correcting old wounds, responsibility versus irresponsibility, inevitability and family, the film is queasyingly realistic and relevant but the performances are a laugh riot, uncomfortable as they are.

 

Before the Devil Knows You’re Dead (2007)

In his third award-worthy turn in 2007 Hoffman finds himself with a character that a great actor would dream of and the lesser of the world could only screw up. An older brother (Hoffman) hiding dark, addictive behavior, talks his sad-sack younger brother (Ethan Hawke) into something unthinkable. Desperate for approval, sensitive in the weirdest moments, black hearted the next, Andy is a fascinating character thanks to Hoffman’s effortless genius.

 

Doubt (2008)

Hoffman and Meryl Streep – one of his only true peers – face off as a priest who may have molested a student and the nun who will doggedly pursue the case. Hoffman never judges his character, bringing a self righteousness and grace to the part that allows the audience to doubt his guilt. Without that, the film bottoms out into just another finger pointing diatribe on the Catholic Church. But because Hoffman could walk the line perfectly – and because Streep and co-stars Viola Davis and Amy Adams are so goddamn talented – the film is a brilliantly ambiguous conundrum.

 

The Master (2012)

Hoffman is a gravitational force as Lancaster Dodd, the charismatic leader of a Scientology-esque group. Pairing Hoffman with Joaquin Phoenix may have been director Paul Thomas Anderson’s greatest moment of casting genius. Phoenix’s disheveled, unhinged veteran vagabond balances Hoffman’s egomaniacal Master so perfectly that every moment the pair shares onscreen is theatrical magic. It’s a flawless film boasting two epic performances.

 

Thank you , Mr. Hoffman, you will be missed.

Countdown: Movies that Know How to Embrace the White Death

We’re buckling under blustery weather and offensive temperatures. I require more degrees! Why not just embrace the White Death? These five films certainly do, so snuggle in with a big blanket and look at how much worse you could have it in this wintery weather.

6. Frozen

No, not the Disney film. In this skiing mishap, three friends hit the slopes one afternoon. They con their way onto the lift for one last run up the hill. But they didn’t really have a ticket to ride, you see, and the guy who let them take that last lift gets called away and asks a less reliable colleague to take over. That colleague has to pee. One thing leads to another. So, three college kids get left on a ski lift. It’s Sunday night, and the resort won’t reopen until Friday. Wolves come out at night. This is a brisk and usually believable flick. Sure, it’s Open Water at a ski resort, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t work.

 

5. 30 Days of Night

If vampires can only come out at night, wouldn’t it make sense for them to head to the parts of the globe that remain under cover of darkness for weeks on end? Like the Arctic circle? The first potential downfall here is that Josh Hartnett plays our lead, the small town sheriff whose ‘burg goes haywire just after the last flight for a month leaves town. A drifter blows into town. Dogs die viciously. Vehicles are disabled. Power is disrupted. You know what that means…the hunt’s begun. Much of the film’s his success is due to the always spectacular Danny Huston as the leader of the bloodsuckers. His whole gang takes a novel, unwholesome approach to the idea of vampire, and it works marvelously.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2xAJGjPQpOM

 

4. Let the Right One In

Honestly, you can’t go wrong with either the 2008 Swedish original or its 2010 American reboot Let Me In. We’re leaning toward the original here only because director Tomas Alfredson made such effective use of the Swedish winter. Young social misfit befriends the mysterious new girl in his apartment complex. A sweet yet bloody romance blossoms. Whether you choose the original or the remake, a brilliantly told, often genuinely scary vampire flick emerges.

 

3. Dead Snow

You had us at “Nazi zombies.” A fun twist on cabin-in-the-woods horror, this film sees a handful of college kids heading into a remote mountain cabin for some winter sport fun and maybe a little lovin’. Dead Snow boasts some of the tongue-in-cheek referential comedy of the outstanding flick Cabin in the Woods, but with a great deal more actual horror. It’s grisly, bloody, hilarious fun.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZJkd5X2aG34

 

2. The Thing

For our money, this is John Carpenter’s best film – isolated, claustrophobic, beardtastic, and you can get frostbite just watching. A group of Arctic scientists take in a dog, but he’s not a dog at all. And soon, most of the scientists are not scientists, either, but which ones?! The FX still hold up and so does the chilly terror.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uoAuJaN78Hk

 

1. The Shining

Because that’s what could happen if you wander outside right now. You might find yourself lost in a maze, icicles hanging from your eyebrows, your bloody axe frozen to your cold, dead hand. Not that anyone inside is much better off. Enjoy Stanly Kubrick’s masterpiece of family dysfunction, Gatsby-style partying, Big Wheel love and bad carpeting. It’s never a bad time to watch The Shining.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1G7Ju035-8U

Oscar Countdown: Snubs Galore

The Oscar nominations always cause a stir, what with the Academy’s glaring myopia when it comes to certain films. This year, the snubs were fewer and less harsh than in years past (like that year they totally ignored three of the best films of the year in Drive, Take Shelter and Young Adult, and failed to nominate the year’s best lead actress performances). We may never get over 2011.

Still, as always, there are some very curious omissions. Here we run down our 5 biggest gripes.

1. Inside Llewyn Davis

The magnificent Coen brothers’ immersive character study set in the unforgiving winter of the Greenwich Village folk scene garnered no love for its outstanding lead performance or its pristine screenplay or its rich and textured direction or even its music! That’s a lot of snubs for one film. It would certainly have been tough to find room for the wondrous Oscar Isaac in a leading actor field more crowded than most, and though the Coens are perpetual competitors for best director (by Oscar’s standards or anyone else’s), who would we bump this year? Scorsese? That’s a hard choice.

When it comes to original screenplay, we may have dumped Dallas Buyers Club in favor of Llewyn. There’s no question that we would have given it the best picture nod over Philomena.

 

2. Stories We Tell

The Academy had their heads up their asses with this one. In fact, there are a number of documentaries better suited to the award than this lineup suggests, but Sarah Polley’s deceptively complicated, brave and clever film cries out for recognition. Not only among the best documentaries of the year but one of the very best films overall, we would certainly have knocked Dirty Wars from the list in favor of Polley’s film. Truth be told, the only film in the category more deserving is The Act of Killing, so we’d have been fine with kicking any of the others to the curb to make room.

 

3. Her

The most imaginative and lovely film of 2013 went without acknowledgment in acting and directing, which is sinful. Our first order of business would be to get Scarlett Johansson a best actress nomination, even though the studio pushed her for supporting. Let’s be honest, regardless of the fact that she’s never onscreen, she plays one of two lovers in a love story. She’s the lead. And in a brilliant voice-only effort, she easily deserves Sandra Bullock’s spot. (In fact, we’d pick Johansson over Bullock, Streep or even Dench this year.)

Joaquin Phoenix should have edged out Leo (though we loved Leo’s work, it’s just a very tight race this year!). Director is as tight as actor, and while Alexander Payne and Martin Scorsese are 1) geniuses and 2) nominated for outstanding work this year, we’d have given one of their places to Spike Jonze for crafting a beautiful love story set in an unerringly crafted near-future, and doing so without a hint of cynicism or derivation.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WzV6mXIOVl4

 

4. Blue Is the Warmest Color

Apparently France couldn’t get off its cheese eating ass to get the film released in time for Oscar consideration, which is an absolute tragedy. The film should, by all accounts, boast two nominations, one for Best Foreign Language Film and another for Best Actress. The fact that Adele Exarchopoulos’s career-defining turn in this romantic drama will go unacknowledged is a crime.

 

5. And the Rest

We’d rather see Julie Louis-Dreyfus (Enough Said) for Best Actress than Meryl Streep. We know that sounds like heresy, but her performance in August: Osage County is so hyperbolic that it’s more exaggeration than acting. True, the weak direction of A: OC is most likely to blame, but the end result just doesn’t measure up.

We would also have given either Daniel Bruhl (Rush) or James Gandolfini (Enough Said) the nod over Jonah Hill for Best Supporting Actor.

 

For more on our Oscar picks, listen to George’s stint on the Sunny 95 (WSNY Columbus, OH) morning show.

 

This Week’s Countdown: Time Traveling Out of January

Her came out this week, and it’s awesome. August: Osage County, also new in theaters, is worth a peek. But that’s probably it for a while. January is the beginning of the long winter movie wasteland, littered with films that were not deemed good competition for holiday movies, not likely award winners – just not that great. The kind of thing you hang on to until it’s bleak and dreary and people have lost the will to live so, why not watch Ride Along?

I, Frankenstein? I vomit.

Seriously, you know it’s bad when you’re holding out for the Hercules movie starring The Rock.

It’s too bad we don’t have a time machine to just jump past the dismal winter movie months. But we don’t. What we do have – which is almost as good – are time machine movies. Here are our 8 favorites. Why eight? January’s a long month and five might not be enough. Use them to fill the void of good flicks at the theater.

8. Twelve Monkeys

Madman Terry Gilliam creates a fascinating shell-world of the future, in which penal colony worker Bruce Willis agrees to travel back to the Nineties to sleuth out the cause of the apocalypse. The SciFi business is intricate and delicate and works surprisingly well, but it’s Gilliam’s particular genius for ruminating on the nature of insanity that keeps this one fascinating. That, along with fun performances from Willis and Oscar nominated (thought, let’s be honest, maybe he didn’t deserve that one) Brad Pitt.

7. Time Bandits

What? More Terry Gilliam? Yes, this guy has a real jones for time travel and, in this case, dwarfs. In 1981 Gilliam was still working with his Monty Python cohorts, ensuring that this bit of lunacy (for wherever Gilliam creates, lunacy follows) takes on a far more comical air than 12 Monkeys. Imaginative and hilarious, it’s no Brazil, but that film couldn’t have existed without this one.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yd4DBq8a2y0

 

6. The Terminator

Computers become self aware. They build super sized, thickly accented, human-ish cyborgs (the role Schwarzenegger was born to play) to infiltrate the few remaining warriors and end the human race. But one scrappy lad sends his dad back to knock up his mom, ensuring the future of the species. Which begs the question: is the survival of the human race reason enough to entertain the idea of your parents doing it?

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lHz95RYUbik

 

5. Planet of the Apes

The film’s 45 years old at this point. We hope we’re not giving up any spoilers by including it on the time travel countdown. But it’s a fascinating thought – maybe it’s not the machines that will enslave us. Maybe it’ll be those damn, dirty apes! Oh Charlton Heston, with your granite jaw and loin cloth, how you suffer when you find out!

4. Timecrimes

This one is nutty, and absolutely required viewing for anyone who enjoys time space continuum conundrums. So much can go wrong when you travel just one hour back in time. An always clever experiment in science fiction and irony, Timecrimes is a spare, unique and wild ride.

3. Back to the Future

The most beloved of all time travel films, Back to the Future has charm to spare. Inventive and endearing, and yet Marty McFly almost makes out with his own mom. Ewww. (We love you, George McFly!)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DVuQWf9M700

2. Primer

Made for $7000, this film is, in itself, an act of science fiction. Writer/director Shane Carruth (who would go on to make the best sic fi film of 2013, Upstream Color,) finds all new ways to consider what havoc a time machine could wreak. It would be the most streamlined, absorbing and ingenious film of its kind if there were other films of its kind.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4CC60HJvZRE

1. Looper

An ingenious look at personal destiny wrapped inside a mind bending time travel thriller, the film watches Joe (Joseph Gordon Levitt) try to kill the older version of himself (Bruce Willis) whose been sent back to him from the future for a mob hit. Breathlessly entertaining, wildly clever and incredibly well crafted, it’s among the very best SciFi  film of a generation.

Countdown: Winter Weather Lunchtime Options

Some people eat sauerkraut to begin the New Year, but if weather predictions hold true, we may be looking at snowbound isolation, even power outages. How long will your provisions hold out?! After enough time homebound and desperate, you might find yourself contemplating roasting a leg of neighbor over an open fire.

Should you find yourself in such a state, here are a few films you can think of as how-to’s.

7. Motel Hell (1980)

Super cheese director Kevin Connor teamed up with low rent 80s staple Nancy Parsons and 50s heartthrob Rory Calhoun – not to mention Elaine Joyce and John Ratzenberger – to create one of the best bad horror films ever made. So gloriously bad! Farmer Vincent (Calhoun) makes the county’s tastiest sausage, and runs the Motel Hello as well. Now if swingers (note: cannibals are always eating swingers) keep disappearing from the motel, and mysterious, bubbly moans are coming from those sacks out back, that does not necessarily mean anything is amiss. Motel Hell is a deeply disturbed, inspired little low budget jewel.

It takes all kinds of critters to make Farmer Vincent’s fritters.

6. Eating Raoul (1982)

This bone-dry black comedy plays like an early John Waters film made with less money and more irony. The sexually repressed Mary and Paul Bland need to generate capital to open a restaurant and get away from the customers, patients, and neighbors constantly trying to have sex with them. They team up with a scam artist and thief named Raoul, played with almost shocking aptitude, considering the film itself, by Robert Beltran. Together the threesome knock off perverts and swingers, rob them, and sell their bodies for dog food. But when Raoul gets a little too ambitious, not to mention lucky with Mary, well, the couple is forced to eat him. And live happily ever after.

It’s amazing what you can do with a cheap piece of meat if you know how to treat it.

5. Soylent Green (1973)

Soylent Green may not be the most famous of Charlton Heston’s sci-fi cult classics, but his granite-jawed overacting is so perfect for this melodramatic examination of human nature, greed and desperation that it is still an amusing genre study.  Heston is a cop in this urban nightmare of an overpopulated future where the elderly are wooed into euthanasia by the same company that produces the only food available. You do the math. You’ll undoubtedly do it faster than Heston does, but that doesn’t undermine the fun.

You’ve got to tell them!  Soylent Green is people!

 

4. Titus (1999)

Director Julie Taymor glories in the spectacle of Shakespeare’s bloodiest play. Considered a pot boiler when it was written, it compares favorably in this century’s ultra-violent landscape. Titus, (Anthony Hopkins, perennial man eater), returns victorious from war, but the violence he wrought revisits him when he becomes entangled with a diabolical widow/war spoil (the ever-luminous Jessica Lange). Cannibalism, incest, rape, mutilation, infanticide, and an enormity of assorted carnage take on a surreal beauty under Taymor’s artistic direction.

Hark, villains, I shall grind your bones to dust, and of your blood I shall make a paste.

3. Delicatessen (1991)

Equal parts Eraserhead, Motel Hell and Amelie, Delicatessen is a weird, wild film. Set in the apartment building around a macabre butcher shop in a surreal, post-apocalyptic France, the film addresses the same cannibalism catalyst explored in many films: a human race that destroys everything required to sustain life and must turn to the only nourishment left. The carnival funhouse approach to cinematography predicts the absurdly funny take this black comedy has on humanity and its future.

Answer me meathead.

 

2. The Rocky Horror Picture Show (1975)

The action in this granddaddy of all cult films turns on one dinner scene. (Now you yell “Meatloaf again?!”) Creator Richard O’Brien’s raucous, once-controversial film about a sweet transvestite, a slut, an asshole and a couple of domestics who sing, time warp, throw rice, animate monsters, swap partners, and finally put on a show is still as much fun as it ever was. Once a subversive take on the classic musicals and sci-fi films of the 30s and 40s, Rocky Horror is now a high-camp icon of its own.

I’m afraid you’ve touched on a rather tender subject there, Dr. Scott. Another slice, anyone?

1. Silence of The Lambs (1991)

Why miss any opportunity to watch one of the most perfect horror films ever made? The fact that a movie about a man who eats human flesh tracking down a man who wears human flesh could win all five major Academy awards is itself a testament to how impeccably this film is put together. From the muted colors, haunting score, and meticulous cinematography to the shockingly authentic performances from Anthony Hopkins, Jodie Foster and Ted Levine, Silence of the Lambs is a stunning achievement in any film genre.

I do wish we could chat longer but I’m having an old friend for dinner.