Any time a film is remade, you have to ask why. Not to be
cynical, but because it’s a legitimate query. Is there a compelling reason to
watch this new one?
Nicolas Pesce hopes there’s reason to watch his retooling of
The Grudge.
The Grudge began in 2000 with Takashi Shimizu’s Japanese horror Ju-on, which spawned three Japanese sequels and now four English language reworkings, two of which Shimizu directed himself. His 2004 version starring Sarah Michelle Geller became a tentpole of our J-horror obsession of the early 2000s.
Pesce, working with co-writer Jeff Buhler (The Midnight Meat Train—that was your first problem), pulls story ideas from across the full spate of Ju-on properties and braids them into a time-hopping horror.
Is there room for hope? There is, because Pesce landed on horror fanatics’ radars in 2016 with his incandescent feature debut, The Eyes of My Mother. He followed this inspired piece of American gothic in 2018 with a stranger, less satisfying but utterly compelling bit of weirdness, Piercing.
And then there’s this cast: Andrea Riseborough, John Cho,
Lin Shaye, Betty Gilpin, Jacki Weaver, Frankie Faison, Damian Bichir—all solid
talents. You just wouldn’t necessarily know it from this movie.
Pesce’s basically created an anthology package—four stories
held together by a family of especially unpleasant ghosts. But that one
sentence contains two of the film’s biggest problems.
Let’s start with the ghosts. Shimizu’s haunters—Takako Fuji and Yuya Ozeki—were sweet-faced, fragile and innocent seeming. The perversion of that delicacy is one of the many reasons Shimizu’s films left such a memorable mark. Pesce’s substitute family loses that deceptive, macabre innocence.
The way the film jumps from story to story and back again
undermines any tension being built, and each story is so brief and so dependent
on short-hand character development (cigarettes, rosaries, ultrasounds) that
you don’t care what happens to anyone.
Jacki Weaver, who seems to be in a comedy, is wildly miscast. Go-to horror regular Shaye has the only memorable scenes in the film. Riseborough, who is a chameleonic talent capable of better things, delivers a listless performance that can’t possibly shoulder so much of the film’s weight.
Jump scares are telegraphed, CGI and practical effects are unimpressive, editing is uninspired and, worst of all, the sound design lacks any of that goosebump-inducing inspiration Shimizu used to such great effect.
One of the most fun facts in acting is that most of the greats, even the truly greats, started off in horror. And, apparently, they all co-starred at one point or another with Keanu Reeves, whose Oscar is apparently still forthcoming. Today we look at some horror films with casts dripping with future gold.
5. Constantine (2005)
Two Oscars plus three nominations. Not for Constantine,
obviously, but that’s the hardware and would-be hardware shared among the cast
of this one.
We have no explanation for this, but Keanu Reeves shows up
three times in this countdown, regardless of the fact that he’s never been
nominated for an Oscar.
No!
Francis Lawrence (of the many Hunger Games fame) made his directorial debut with this big screen take on the comic Hellblazer. Reeves mumbles his way through the lead role of John Constantine. Destined to hell because of an early-life suicide attempt and cursed with the ability to see demons and angels in their true form, Constantine battles on behalf of the light in the hopes of regaining favor and avoiding his eternal fate.
Tilda Swinton plays the angel Gabriel! Peter Storemare plays
Satan! I don’t know what else you need to convince you to waste two hours, but
Rachel Weisz also plays twins, Pruitt Taylor Vince plays a priest, Djimon
Hounsou plays a witch doctor, and there’s absolutely no reason any one of these
people said yes to this job. Glorious!
4. Bram Stoker’s Dracula (1992)
OK, well Coppola alone has five outright Oscars and one
Thalberg Memorial Award, as well as nine additional nominations. Add to that
Oldman’s win and nomination, Hopkins’s win and three nominations, Ryder’s two
nominations and Richard E. Grant’s nom and you have to just wonder why this
movie doesn’t work better.
Overheated, overperformed and somehow undeniably watchable,
Francis Ford Coppola’s take on Stoker’s classic vampire tale is a train wreck.
Keanu Reeves is awful. Winona Ryder is awful. Anthony
Hopkins is so over the top as to be borderline hilarious. And yet, Coppola
somehow matches that ridiculous volume and pitch with a writhing, carnal
atmosphere – almost an oversaturated Hammer horror, all heaving breasts and
slippery satin.
At the heart of the film is a glorious Gary Oldman, who is
particularly memorable as the almost goofily macabre pre-London Dracula. Tom
Waits makes an impression as Renfield, Richard E. Grant offers a nicely wearied
turn as the asylum’s keeper, Dr. Seward, and the lovely Sadie Frost joins a slew
of nubile vampire women to keep the film simmering. It’s a sloppy stew, but it
is just so tasty.
3. The Gift (2000)
Blanchett has two, Swank has two, Simmons has one, writer
Billy Bob Thornton has one plus, including Danny Elfman and Greg Kinnear,
there’s another 11 Oscar nominations for this cast and crew. And yet…
Thornton co-writes this supernatural backwoods thriller,
allegedly about experiences his mother had as a clairvoyant. Sam Raimi, who’d
just directed Thornton to an Oscar nomination with A Simple Plan, directs a
star-heavy cast: Cate Blanchette, Keanu Reeves, JK Simmons, Gary Cole, Hilary Swank, Giovanni Ribisi, Katie Holmes
and Greg Kinnear.
Blanchette is a small town Georgia fortune teller (though
she doesn’t like that label). Recently widowed and raising three young boys,
she’s the picture of vulnerability and Blanchette is, of course, excellent.
This is one of Reeves’s stronger performances, too, as the violent rube
suspected of murdering a lovely young missing person (Holmes).
Ribisi does the best by the film, which is a fun if
predictable little spook show. Raimi can’t quite find his tone, and humorless
horror is definitely not the filmmaker’s strong suit. Still, the cast is just
about enough to make the film really shine.
2. Zombieland (2009)
Emma Stone, Woody Harrelson, Jesse Eisenberg, Abigail
Breslin and Bill Murray each have at least one Oscar nomination; Stone’s also
won one. And in a lovely change of pace, the movie they made together kicks all
manner of ass.
Hilarious, scary, action-packed, clever and, when necessary,
touching, Zombieland ranks as one of the most fun zombie movies ever made. How
much of that is due to Rhett Reese and Paul Wernick’s spot-on screenplay?
Loads. How much credit goes to director Ruben Fleischer? Well, he did stage
that utterly fantastic theme park kiosk shootout of death, didn’t he?
But let’s be honest, the chemistry among the four leads,
their comic timing and simple, undeniable talent is what raises this film to
the highest of genre heights.
1. American Psycho (2000)
Truth be told, Christian Bale should have won the Oscar for
this iconic slice of perfection. He did not, but he did win for The Fighter,
with three nominations in quick succession after that. Reese Witherspoon has
one win, one nom and Jared Leto has one win. Meanwhile, Chloe Sevigny has one
nomination to Willem Dafoe’s four.
It this film better than all of those? Hell yes. These fantastic
actors mingle in a giddy hatchet to the head of the abiding culture of the
Eighties. American Psycho represents the sleekest, most
confident black comedy – perhaps ever. Writer/director Mary Harron’s send
up of the soulless Reagan era is breathtakingly handled, from the set
decoration to the soundtrack, but the film works as well as a horror picture as
it does a comedy.
As solid as this cast is, and top to bottom it is perfect,
every performance is eclipsed by the lunatic genius of Bale’s work. Volatile,
soulless, misogynistic and insane, yet somehow he also draws some empathy. It
is wild, brilliant work that marked a talent preparing for big things.
My last note after watching In Fabric: “Well, that was
weird.”
Weird in a good way.
Nobody blends giallo’s surrealistic seduction with dry British wit (two elements that, to be honest, should not fit together at all) like Peter Strickland. Subversive and playful while boasting a meticulous obsession with the exploitation films of the Seventies, Strickland creates vintage-futuristic fantasies that live outside of time and evoke both nostalgia and wonder.
His latest follows a red Ambassadorial Function Dress and
the havoc it wreaks on its wearers.
This sounds like Yong-gyun Kim’s 2005 Japanese horror The
Red Shoes, but Strickland has something far less sensible, less predictable,
and more memorable in store for you.
(Quick PSA: If you can be less sensible than a Japanese ghost story
horror and still make a watchable, even fascinating, film, you are at the top
of your game.)
We meet Sheila (Marianne Jean-Baptiste), lonely
fiftysomething bank teller just finding her way back into the dating pool and
in need of a new dress. She heads, during sales season, to Dentley & Soper,
where a coven of sales women led by Strickland favorite Fatma Mohamed (she owns
this movie) will do what they can to usher clients toward a “transaction of
ecstasy.”
The dress, a “a double dream, diamond wrapped,” says the catalog,
is “body sensual, captivating, candlelight glances, canape conversations.”
This heightened perfume-ad speak also spills from the
department store sales women—each a cross between a Victorian witch and a
mannequin—hinting at the fetishistic nature of the entire film.
Strickland, apparently, is about as fond of consumerism as
Romero or Cronenberg. He’s also as fond of the color red as Argento. Unlike the
giallo films that clearly inform Strickland’s aesthetic, here commerce, not
violence itself, is the seductive, sexualized element.
Sheila is a good egg waiting to crack played with working
class grace by Jean-Baptiste (Secrets and Lies). In the tradition of the
genre, we root that good egg Sheila will somehow outwit the killer dress her saleswitch
conned her into purchasing.
Sheila’s story represents the first half of In Fabric,
a peculiar but somewhat straightforward horror film. At the film’s halfway
mark, Strickland makes a quick left turn into full blown absurdity, which
awaits you in the second half.
Not a frame, not a glance, not a bizarre line of dialog is wasted or misplaced in a bold vision that’s stylized nearly to death. In a good way. Strickland’s audacious anti-consumerism fantasy must be seen to be believed.
That’s the question at the heart of the mystery in director
Yûji
Shimomura’s martial arts thriller, Re:Born.
The film opens with teams of soldiers hunting a target. When the mission becomes compromised, their commander orders them to fall back.
But something is hunting these soldiers, dispatching them with skillful ease, moving in and out of shadows with inhuman speed. We’re given little information about the situation, immediately catching us off-guard as we try to keep up with what’s happening before our eyes.
The film crafts a fine balance between what we know and what we’re unsure of. Just as more pieces of the puzzle fall into place, new questions arise, forcing us to pay attention. When we meet main character, Toshiro (Tak Sakaguchi), we’re sufficiently intrigued. Who is this man, and how does he connect to the opening sequence?
Toshiro cares for his niece, Sachi, portrayed by the utterly
adorable Yura Kondo. Their relationship is interesting, as Sachi showers her
uncle with effusive affection while he holds himself back. He’s not cold, but
he’s detached. Toshiro’s brother, Kenji (Takumi Saitoh), adds another layer of
mystery to the story.
As the movie unfolds, the tension builds. A group of men and women are hunting Toshiro. He does his best to shield his niece from these sinister agents, but it’s a web of danger that encroaches into his daily life. Backstory is layered on backstory, but the film manages to reveal more of the mystery surrounding Toshiro without added confusion. We’re never given all the answers, but that’s a good thing. Remove all the mystery, and you’re left with little to ponder.
There is a fine line between a great action movie and a good
action movie. A great action movie understands the balance between fast-paced
action sequences and slower moments that give the audience time to catch their
breath. An action sequence that goes on too long starts to become wearying.
This is the trap Re:Born falls into as one particularly long action
sequence becomes tedious. However, it’s refreshing to watch choreographed fight
sequences that rely very little on CG to enhance them. No matter how good CG
gets, it will never replace the beauty of a well-orchestrated fight sequence
between skilled actors.
Re:Born has many of the elements of a great action film. A captivating story and great actors make-up for the few flat moments. This is a film that asks you to pay attention and rewards you for doing so.
Whether used to terrorize us or to break our hearts, dogs add something powerful to a horror movie. Unless it’s Zoltan: Dog of Dracula, because nothing, not even the most gorgeous dog, could save that piece of poo. But these dogs, these dogs are keepers.
6. The Woman (2011)
Maybe you haven’t seen Lucky McKee’s amazing, disturbing 2011 feminist horror The Woman? Get on it! But just in case, we’re going to avoid any spoilers, which means leaving you kind of wondering why this film made the list of best dogs in horror. Suffice it to say, the dogs are mentioned throughout but meeting them … well, please see this movie.
5. Cujo (1983)
A New England couple, struggling to stay afloat as a family, has some car trouble. This naturally leads to a rabid St. Bernard adventure.
Though the film contains many faults, once Donna (Dee Wallace) and her asthmatic son (pre-Who’s the Boss Danny Pintauro) find themselves trapped in their broken down Pinto (What? Those seem like such reliable cars!) with a rabid dog (bigger than the car) attacking, the film ratchets up the tensions and rewards you for your patience.
Profoundly claustrophobic and surprisingly tense, benefitting immeasurably by Wallace’s full commitment to the role, the film traps us in the heat inside that Pinto and quickly makes up for the entire rest of the picture.
4. The Omen (1976)
Billie F. Whitelaw, ladies and gentlemen. Her performance as little Damien’s new nanny really took things up a notch, didn’t they? Instantly, not only was Mummy (Lee Remick) unnecessary, but Daddy (Gregory Peck) found himself in a battle for Alpha—a battle that begins over a dog.
There are actually quite a number of great, terrifying dogs in The Omen, Richard Donner’s iconic Seventies horror. The dogs in the cemetery, the bones in the casket—what, exactly, was Damien’s mother, anyway? But Mrs. Baylock’s Hound of Hell—that’s when the unflappable Robert Thorn realized there may be things to fear inside his home.
3. I Am Legend (2007)
Yes, there are scary dogs in horror movies, but more often than not horror filmmakers use dogs to break our hearts. Oh, sure, kill all the people you want, but once we hear that off-screen whimper, we’re bawling.
Tell us Sam’s death in I Am Legend didn’t gut you. No? Well, stay away from us you sociopath.
Horror has done us some damage in the way they treat dogs: Jaws, Raw, Snowtown, The Babadook, It Comes at Night, Greta, Audition, The Hills H ave Eyes, The Wailing, Hounds of Love. But we not only loved Sam, we recognized Robert Neville’s (Will Smith) aloneness, his vulnerability to grief and madness, because of Sam. That dog is the only reason this movie works.
2. The Voices (2014)
Director Marjane Satrapi’s follow up to her brilliant animated Persepolis is a sweet, moving, very black comedy about why medicine is not always the best medicine.
Ryan Reynolds is Jerry. As Jerry sees it, his house is a cool pad above a nifty bowling alley, his job is the best, his co-workers really like him, and his positive disposition makes it easy for him to get along. Jerry’s kindly dog Bosco (also Ryan Reynolds) agrees.
But Mr. Whiskers (evil cat, also Reynolds) thinks Jerry is a cold blooded killer. And though Mr. Whiskers is OK with that, Jerry doesn’t want to believe it. So he should definitely not take his pills.
1. The Thing (1982)
Who’s a good boy?!
OK, not the new rescue dog on MacReady’s team. What a gorgeous boy he is, though. A perfect specimen, adaptable to Antarctica’s hostile climate, bred to survive. He makes those beard-tastic humans look positively vulnerable.
That’s a great horror movie tagline. It’s also just good
advice. Two for two before the credits even roll, Patrick Lussier. Onward!
Lussier co-writes and directs Trick, a new horror show about an unstoppable, maybe even supernatural serial killer who comes back to Smalltown, America on Halloween to kill teens.
Hang on, isn’t that the basic plot of the Halloween
franchise?
It is! But wait, there’s more! This loner wearing face paint
appeals to the disenfranchised of the world, creating an online following
that’s almost dangerous in its obsessive behavior. Who knows what his influence
might make them do…
Well, now that’s just Joker.
Correct! But this guy has a cool knife that says TRICK on
one side and TREAT on the other side.
Yeah…that’s kind of cool…So if the knife comes up TRICK, he
kills you, right? What if it comes up TREAT?
He still kills you. There’s no additional purpose to the knife. But stay with me, here! A beautiful, studious young woman who’s devoted to her invalid dad survived the first attack and now “Trick” Weaver may be coming back to claim her for his next victim!
Oh, come on! That’s every single slasher sequel. Ever! And
this isn’t even a sequel—that’s just lazy. Does Trick bring anything new
to the table? Offer anything provocative? Are the kills at least interesting?
Did I tell you about his cool knife?
Sigh.
Lussier (Drive Angry, My Bloody Valentine) cobbles a movie together from pieces of at least four different Halloween films plus a Scream vibe (even poaching two franchise actors, Omar Epps and Jamie Kennedy). His film would feel desperate to be socially relevant if it were not so incredibly lazy in just every conceivable way.
I was looking forward to a treat. Trick is like that time my babysitter said she was giving me a Tootsie Roll and it was really beef jerky.
Horror and social commentary are synonymous with one another. Fifty years ago, Night of the Living Dead tapped into America’s anxiety about the Vietnam War. 1978’s Dawn of the Dead used the zombie apocalypse to attack consumerism. More recently, Jordan Peele’s Get Out looked to horror to comment on race in America. These are all top-shelf examples of horror tackling social issues.
Of course, not everyone can be George Romero or Jordan Peele. The new Shudder exclusive, The Furies—screening as part of Australia’s Monster Fest in October before its release in Australian cinemas from November 7—is a stark example of that.
After being kidnapped right off the street, Kayla wakes up in a coffin-sized box somewhere in the Australian outback. Before she can get her bearings, she finds herself hunted by someone wearing a horrific mask. As Kayla makes her way through this hellscape of murder to find a friend, she and the other hunted girls start to succumb to their form of savagery.
The Furies starts strong with a visually impressive prologue. Director Tony D’Aquino gets everything on the screen – from production design to some top-notch gore effects. Visually, the movie is a feast.
Content-wise?
It’s a tonally confused mess.
There’s a weak attempt at commenting on women’s treatment in horror. When these characters aren’t being hunted down by armed slashers, they’re assigned another one of these ghouls as a protector. On paper this sounds like a novel idea: “Women are either fodder or in need of protection in these movies!” Unfortunately, D’Aquino never does anything more than set those ideas up.
Complicating things more is the way these women are written as merely paper-thin caricatures. They run, scream and die. Rinse, repeat. Kayla’s journey of “discovery” has the depth of a red Solo cup. Instead of looking inward at her own darkness and allowing that to come through in the performance, the movie settles for wearing a dark hoodie and saying tough things while handling a taser.
The messy ideas continue into the movie’s overall tone. The horror elements are strong, but there are also some half-realized sci-fi threads peppered about. Instead of exploring these nuggets in any meaningful way, D’Aquino treats them like the first episode of a network series to be explored later.
Despite some impressive visual sleight of hand with excellent cinematography and practical gore effects, The Furies can’t overcome the inherent shallowness of its story and execution.
There are a limited number of reasons people become and
remain friends. Some of those reasons are just nonsense. And yet, three friends
of dubious worth to one another gather to repeat their familiar patterns, which
land them on a yacht for an apology daytrip.
Richard (Christopher Gray) — brash, spoiled and quick to anger— is apologizing. Jonah (Munro Chambers – Turbo Kid!) —bruised and bloody—is probably too quick to forgive. Sasha (Emily Tyra) has plenty of reason to be tired of both boyfriend Richard and bestie Jonah.
The fact that Jonah and Sasha bring along Richard’s birthday
gift clarifies how little anyone in this triangle has learned.
And so, Sasha, Jonah, Richard and Richard’s new harpoon set
off on an unplanned, ill-advised, seafaring jaunt.
Drinks all around!
Co-writer/director Rob Grant keeps events snarky with a voice-of-God narration (assuming God’s a sailor) performed by a brilliantly deadpan Brett Gelman. As far as this nameless narrator who inexplicably sees all is concerned, the dangers facing this volatile threesome have less to do with their pathological history and more to do with the sailing omens they ignorantly flout.
Give an irrational drunk prone to fits of rage the gift of a
pointy projectile weapon? Meh. But bring bananas on board—now that’s really
pushing things.
The darkly silly commentary adds some tang to the friends’
foolhardy adventure, but Grant’s themes are not entirely comedic. He strands
the trio at sea for days on end, their survival instincts overtaking their
petty sniping as they find a new reason for friendship: the common good.
Grant offers a nice balance here between dark humor and
genuine tension born of realistic performances. Chambers, Tyra and Gray offer
frustratingly recognizable characters, the kind that make idiotic choices, less
because it forwards the action of the script (although it does) and more because
people are stupid and they fall into familiar roles.
The film makes more than a few convenient moves, but it
packs a lot of surprises and showcases very solid performances.
When done well, their use of unseen horror gets under my skin like no other kind of scary movie. There’s a heart-pounding anticipation prevalent in these movies that tends to hit everything I find terrifying.
Of course, this reaction comes with good found footage movies. Does Hell House LLC 3: Lake of Fire rank up there with the greats?
Yeah… not so much.
Right before its demolition, Russell Wynn (Gabriel Chytry) swoops in to buy the infamous Abaddon Hotel. He’s young, showy, rich… and full of potentially bad ideas, such as using the hotel as the venue for his popular interactive show, “Insomniac.” Along for the ride is a journalist and her camera crew, a handful of actors for the show, and Russell’s dedicated, but ultimately naive, staff.
The original Hell House LLC delivered a budget-friendly, but fun, offering into the found footage canon. The filmmakers weren’t reinventing the wheel, but they understood what they could produce with the premise and money available to them. Director Stephen Cognetti’s knowledge of how to make basic scares work lifted the film to a higher level.
The slow-building of dread is a staple in this genre. It’s what gets the audience to squirm well before the proverbial shit hits the fan. Hell House LLC 3 peaks early with its scares and doesn’t quite finds its footing again. The climax ends up being more chaotic than scary with conveniently placed camerawork being substituted for well-placed frights.
The film truly stumbles by relying too heavily on the installments that came before. There’s far too much time spent building a mythology that brings in characters from the other two movies. As a result, Hell House LLC 3 never gets to work as a singular piece of filmmaking.
Outside of a few clever scares, this third installment in the Hell House LLC series never manages to rise above being a middling effort.
Have you ever noticed how adorable Browns fans are during pre-season every year? Every year! There is always reason for optimism.
That’s how I feel about filmmakers with the “haunted house attraction that’ll really kill you” premise. Year after year (The Houses October Built, 2014; 31, 2016; The Houses October Built 2, 2017; Hell Fest, 2018) somebody wheels out the stinky old corpse of an idea and says, “This year, we’ll get it right!”
The 2019 attempt belongs to writers/directors Scott Beck and Bryan Woods, who struck silent film gold last year with the screenplay for A Quiet Place. (In retrospect, maybe we didn’t give co-writer/director John Krasinski enough credit for that one.)
Haunt follows a handful of college students seeking thrills on Halloween. They stumble upon an isolated haunted house attraction—with not one single visitor. On Halloween night. Kids! Come on! Clearly it’s either the lamest thing on earth or it will kill you. This isn’t rocket science.
And yet, they give up their cell phones, sign some waivers
and enter.
Katie Stevens is Harper, damaged but mainly wholesome
brunette and center of gravity for the group. Will Brittain is Nathan, pre-requisite
“will they or won’t they” nice fella who sees past Harper’s prickly exterior.
In truth, the actors playing the six gullible youths all
perform above expectation and, mercifully, Beck and Woods choose not to subject
us to the couple that just can’t keep their hands to themselves.
Made sensibly and economically, Haunt sticks to what it knows and focuses on what it came to do. Gaps in logic are few (they’re there, but they’re not distracting). One or two of the kills offer intrigue and the villains are, if not especially impressive, at least kind of fun.
It’s adequate. Unlike the Browns. The Browns are going all the way this year. No doubt. No doubt about it.
