Slim pickins in new release this week, but if you’re looking for something spooky, Jessica Chastain’s spectral thriller Mama is your best bet. Thanks to the impressive performances of its youngest cast members, this supernatural tale of feral orphans generates true dread. Heartbreaking, pensive and convincingly creepy, the wee ones steal the film in a disturbing way. Their stellar work is nearly undone by a lackluster title character, but for about 2/3 of its run time, Mama is a keeper.
For a much stronger voyage into spectral horror and creepy children, try the 2007 Spanish gem The Orphanage. Elegantly filmed, atmospheric and deeply creepy, The Orphanage recalls such genre greats as The Devil’s Backbone, The Others, and The Innocents. Is a mother so distraught over the vanishing of her son that she’s seeing ghosts, or is there something more sinister afoot in the old orphanage she bought? It’s a haunted house tale that manages to be familiar, surprising and, most importantly, spooky.
Iron Man 3 officially opens summer blockbuster season this weekend, and let’s be honest, until Robert Downey Jr. put on that flat, noseless mask, no one gave a two poops about Iron Man. But now, he’ll probably rake in more dough than Superman. That’s what the Hollywood treatment can do for a fledgling superhero, which is why we are campaigning for a few other second-tier heroes that could use a little limelight. All they want is what they have coming to them. All they want is their fair share.
5. The Coon
Why no movie for Eric Cartman’s masked, tailed vigilante from South Park? It’s a perfect set up: a super hero, a rival (Kenny’s mysterious Mysterion), and an arch nemesis (Butters’s alter ego,Professor Chaos and his little buddy General Disarray). Plus, between Coonacon and the product placement opportunity for Chipotlaway, it pays for itself. What more does Hollywood need?
4. Ace & Gary
What is everyone looking at? Nothing, but it’s time that changed! Superheroes like Ace and Gary have been ignored and forced into hiding for too long. Who cares that they’re late night TV superheroes? They deserve the same opportunity to fight crime as all the other tightly-panted hero buddies. It’s time they left the shadows and headed for the spotlight. Come on out, Ace and Gary!
3. Jem
Why Eighties cartoon rocker Jem? Because she’s truly outrageous. Truly, truly, truly outrageous. And, her music’s contagious (outrageous). Jem is her name. No one else is the same. Jem is her name. (Jem!)
2. Fallout Boy
Sure, he has his own band, but Milhouse Van Houton’s overshadowed super sidekick needs to step out from behind Radioactive Man’s cape and save the day on the big screen. Yes, his mask stinks of acne medicine and desperation, but c’mon, can’t Hollywood borrow a feeling and give him a chance!
http://www.hulu.com/watch/40715
1. ThunderCats
Those flowing locks, those bulging, furry biceps. Oh mighty Lion-o, how can it be that you have not yet graced the silver screen? Can we blame evil Mum-ra, ThunderCat foe? Or just the small minded Hollywood big wigs who can’t see how hard it is to lead fellow Thundarians and still maintain that coiffure?
After making some really super friends last year, Tony Stark is flying solo again, reaching some pretty impressive heights.
With an infusion of hip from a slick new filmmaker and the continued excellence of its star, Iron Man 3 re-establishes the high-tech suited one as the anchor of The Avengers franchise.
Of course, Robert Downey, Jr. can go a long way toward making even weak films entertaining, but even he seems to have more pep in his step this time thanks to director/co-writer Shane Black.
Black, given the keys to this valuable engine from executive producer Jon Favreau, does not disappoint, filling IM3 with snappy dialogue, clever plot twists and intelligent subtexts addressing self-doubt and terrorism. Oh yeah, and plenty of the impressive 3D visual wizardry that’s required of a superhero blockbuster.
The story catches up with Stark enjoying his fame as usual, but also suffering bouts of insomnia and anxiety while trying to come down from the Avengers battle royale. He stays up all night crafting more toys for his alter ego, only to be plagued by nightmares when he does manage some sleep.
It doesn’t help when an old acquaintance (Guy Pearce) shows up with a business offer and an eye for Stark’s love Pepper (Gwyneth Paltrow), or when one of Stark’s old conquests (Rebecca Hall) joins the soap opera with some mysterious warnings of her own.
And then, as if Stark didn’t have enough on his mind, international terrorist “the Mandarin” (Ben Kingsley) starts blowing everything up!
Black and Downey Jr., re-teaming after the underrated Kiss Kiss Bang Bang from 2005, know that the best comic book- inspired stories turn darker as they age, and they both show good instincts toward how to best apply that formula to their story. They break Stark/Iron Man down mentally, physically and mechanically, while managing to keep the film smart, funny, and often spectacular.
There’s plenty to keep you engaged, and keep you guessing, with the impressive cast of actors providing downright gleeful performances.
Ironically, IM3’s biggest weakness comes from sometimes having too much of a good thing. With Patriot (Don Cheadle) by Stark’s side in the explosive finale, there might be one too many suits, near deaths and breathless escapes.
That’s nit-picking I know, and not enough to derail Iron Man 3 as a thrilling start to the blockbuster season.
At long last, Silver Lining’s Playbook– David O. Russell’s story of love in a hyper-diagnosed, over-medicated, label-dependent society – is available on DVD. Bradley Cooper plays a damaged man returning home to Philly from an institutionalized stint. He returns to a football obsessed father with undiagnosed OCD (Robert DeNiro – and he’s actually acting, everybody!), and his own unrelenting determination to win back his estranged wife. And then he meets an unbalanced, brooding, unquestionably hot neighbor (Oscar winner Jennifer Lawrence). Both leads are fantastic, buoyed by an excellent supporting cast and a screenplay that bends to enough Hollywood tropes to be a crowd pleaser but subverts enough to be a real surprise.
We’re not going to pretend we championed Lawrence since her TV days on the Bill Envall show, but with Winter’s Bone, she impressed us and everyone else who saw her gritty, Oscar-nominated performance. As a young woman in the Ozarks wading through family secrets while searching for her father, Lawrence is never less than frighteningly real. She is surrounded by an outstanding supporting cast, most notably John Hawkes and Dale Dickie. Director/co-writer Debra Granick crafts a latter day Deliverance that grabs you early, not letting go until you feel that you’ve survived an experience, not merely seen a movie.
Jeff Nichols’s criminally underseen Take Shelter was the best film of 2011. Poetic and understated, steeped in the mores of small town Ohio, this story of a man haunted by visions of the apocalypse benefitted from a treatment fully at home in its setting. (It was also buoyed by faultless performances from Michael Shannon and Jessica Chastain.)
Nichols relocates to riverbeds in Arkansas for his follow up, Mud, a soulful, Huck Finn-style tale about modernization and the romantic notions that struggle against it.
Ellis (a powerful Tye Sheridan) lives with his parents on a ramshackle houseboat, where they eke out a living selling the fish they catch. His buddy Neckbone (newcomer Jacob Lofland) lives with his Uncle Galen (Shannon), who survives on whatever bounty he can dredge from the river bottom.
To shake off the summer blues, the boys go seeking adventure on a little nearby island. There they find more than they bargained for in Matthew McConaughey as the fugitive Mud.
Last year, McConaughey turned around an increasingly craptacular career with a steady stream of magnificent turns in edgy, unique, independent films like Killer Joe. Mud shows the lanky Texan is still interested in being an actor as opposed to a star, and his charming rogue-in-need commands attention. More than that, his generous performance allows the younger actors to really shine.
Sheridan proved himself in 2011’s The Tree of Life, but here he shoulders the bulk of the film and does so with aplomb. Through his eyes we see the bittersweet beauty, confusion and longing required in any good coming of age tale. His thoughtful performance draws attention to the unhappy truth that the more someone means to you, the more likely they are to inadvertently disappoint you.
With only three films under his belt, Nichols is proving himself a powerful storyteller. Beautiful compositions, lyrical pacing and imagery, a profound sense of place, all animated with raw and engaging performances – his approach simply hasn’t yet misfired.
Mud lacks the disturbing punch of Take Shelter, but replaces it with thematic beauty. It becomes a richly textured image of the punishment and resilience of youth. At the same time, Mud uses that familiar adolescent struggle to mirror the quickly disappearing freedom of those beleaguered souls looking to make a life on the river.
Is it hyperbole to say this is the most exciting weekend in the history of the Columbus Blue Jackets? Is it?!
They’ve been playing out of their minds, and if they keep that going Saturday night in NWA, they could land a #8 seed in the Stanley Cup Playoffs. And let’s be honest, unlike last time, this year it really feels like they could do some damage (especially after a #8 seed just won the cup!)
And so, in honor of this weekend’s hockey fever, let’s lace ‘em up and count down the top 5 hockey films!
5. Rocket: The Legend of Rocket Richard (2005)
No, we did not throw this in just to avoid including Mighty Ducks or Youngblood, but man, were we happy to find just one more decent hockey movie. The film echoes the life of Montreal Canadiens great Maurice Richard in an elegantly filmed biopic on overcoming adversity to become an iconic sports figure and national hero. Sure, that sounds familiar, but this time it happens in Canada.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TkcFx1p4-Cg
4. Mystery, Alaska (1999)
Here’s a perfectly enjoyable, needlessly cluttered underdog tale where decent writing and generous performances outweigh trite themes. The alum of a tiny Alaskan town brings an NHL match home when the NY Rangers agree to play Mystery, Alaska’s hard-nosed local boys. Good-natured fun follows.
3. Goon (2011)
We can’t get enough of this Canadian minor league hockey gem, written by Jay Baruchel and starring Sean William Scott, who plays against type as a sweet natured, dunderheaded hockey goon who can’t skate but sure can beat the crap out of people.
2. Miracle (2004)
This great looking, family-friendly biopic boasts an excellent Kurt Russell, some fantastic hockey footage, and swelling emotions. Authentic, understated and weirdly compelling given the fact that we all know how it turns out. (Dude, we totally beat the Russians! Those douches.)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wZBb_8WQKUA
1. Slap Shot (1977)
What Caddyshack is to caddying, what The Bad News Bears is to little league – Slap Shot is best hockey movie ever. Paul Newman is hilariously salty in a story about a failing town soon to lose its minor league hockey team, and the player whose career is over if he can’t figure out how to save it. Does salvation wear thick glasses, travel in threes, and pack toy trains?
In fairness to director Michael Bay (did I just write that out loud?) turning a real life murder case into a comedy is not unheard of. Just last year, Ricard Linklater pulled it off with the delightful Bernie.
It can be done, but judging by Pain & Gain, Bay doesn’t know how.
The film is based on the exploits of two Miami bodybuilders currently sitting on Death Row. In the mid-1990s they kidnapped and tortured wealthy businessman Marc Schiller until he signed away nearly all his fortune. They attempted to kill him as well, but even though he survived, Schiller struggled to get police to buy his story.
Thinking they got away once, the “Sun Gym Gang” eventually tried the scheme again, and two people died grisly deaths.
In the right hands, this story could become a dark, satirical comedy that uses the wretched excess of South Beach as a platform to skewer the misplaced values of a consumer culture run amok. The possibilities are there, but Bay doesn’t do nuance.
Instead, the gang is sympathetically portrayed as a group of bumbling clowns just taking a kookier path to the American dream. Ringleader Daniel Lugo (Mark Wahlberg) attends get rich seminars and calls himself a “doer” while roping the steroid-crazed Adrian Doorbal (Anthony Mackie) into his plans. For extra muscle, they recruit the gigantic Paul (Dwayne Johnson), a rehabbing, Jesus-loving ex-con character reportedly written as a composite of other real life gang members.
Wahlberg and Mackie are fine, Johnson’s growth as an actor continues to impress, and there is solid supporting work from Tony Shalhoub. All are hamstrung, though, by how their respective characters are conceived. Screenwriters Christopher Markus and Stephen McFeely (the Narnia series) hit a target that’s just a few “nyuk nyuks” away from the Stooges, which is a few miles away from where they should have been aiming.
Ironically, with all the slo-mo, voiceovers and onscreen text, you get the feeling Bay actually thinks he crafted a Natural Born Killers for a new generation.
He didn’t.
Still, he’s trying, in his own misguided way, to say something here. That, along with the capable performances, is all Pain & Gain needs to stand as Bay’s best film to date.
Our film opens on a black and white photo. Looks like it could be any grainy old shot of a vacation spot – palm trees, empty beach chair, water in the distance. As writer/director Todd Berger slowly pulls back, we eventually see the mushroom cloud beyond the water.
Sometimes a “couples’ brunch” can feel like the end of the world. I supposed that’s why it makes such a fitting location for Berger’s dryly hilarious It’s a Disaster!
The film follows Tracy (Julia Stiles) and her new beau Glen (David Cross) as they approach the site of Tracy and her buddies’ monthly tradition. It’ll be Glen’s first contact with Tracy’s BFFs, a set of self-absorbed thirtysomethings with their own very lived-in dynamic.
What begins as a comedy of manners (one that expertly showcases Cross’s abilities as a straight man) progress toward something grander.
The dark comedy comes rife with articulate jabs at couplehood, circles of friends, and the balance of harsh judgment and loving acceptance found therein. Once the party realizes that the apocalypse is nigh – dirty bombs have been dropped in cities all over the nation, including the city center just 12 miles from their very brunch – those elements boil down to their most undiluted.
People show their true colors, secrets are exposed, bonds are broken, others are formed, cocktails are imbibed, duct tape is sought, quiche grows cold. Just as prophesied.
Berger’s concept is large but his handling is confident, and a likeable and well defined ensemble keeps the chaos interesting and the storylines crisp.
Cross’s warm, generous performance casts Glen as the one level head, the one good soul – the guy you want on hand when the world comes to an end. But Berger has more in mind for ol’ Glen, thankfully.
Stiles offers another strong performance (following last year’s ball-buster in Silver Linings Playbook). Meanwhile, America Ferrera gets the chance to show her humanity and comic timing while cooking up some X.
“The world’s about to end and you’re going to do extacy?”
“Can you think of a better time?”
Gallows humor is rarely employed so well, but Berger balances silliness with more insightful and biting comedy to mine his contrived situation for all its gold.
The quick 88 minute run time keeps the necessary claustrophobia from growing too tiresome, yet each character evolves believably. It’s a credit to Berger’s script and to the talent of the cast he’s assembled.
Out on DVD this week: the underseen, Oscar-nominated The Impossible. The sheer size of this movie feels impossible. Based on true events, the film follows a vacationing family of five torn asunder by Southeast Asia’s 2004 tsunami. Though an overwhelming score and a too-tidy ending threaten the film’s power, brilliant performances across the board – in particular, by Oscar nominee Naomi Watts – and a staggering recreation of the tsunami itself keep you breathless most of the time.
For a more fictional, but no less harrowing adventure, check out The Grey, a man-against-the-elements tale from early last year that also flew under the radar of most moviegoers.
Liam Neeson stars as an oil rigger who, while lucky enough to survive a plane crash, is then left to battle nasty weather and nastier wolves lurking in the Alaskan wilderness. Director/ co-writer Joe Carnahan has more in mind than just adventure, crafting an effective subtext of existentialism that makes it easy to forgive the moments of melodrama and the curiously weak wolf effects. Tense, gritty and intelligent, The Grey is an unexpected winner.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VRWF4cepn8U
Rob Zombie returns to film after a blessed hiatus with the hot mess Lords of Salem. In it, Zombie’s talentless wife Sheri Moon Zombie plays a radio DJ haunted by Salem’s past.
Try to ignore the ludicrous radio station situation: Boston’s most popular DJs are actually based at a Salem station. Sure, they’re patterned after a hyperbolic morning show – sound effects and all – even though they appear to be a nighttime program. They also play no music save snippets of hardcore weirdness, but I’m sure that’s the kind of thing a major market really goes for.
What can’t be ignored is Zombie’s mishmash of horror gimmicks, recalling Kubrick and Argento as well as the slew of witch films popular in the late Sixties and early Seventies. This is not a knock, really. It’s Zombie’s overt fandom that has defined his directorial style since his first film. But don’t recall Kubrick unless your film can stand up to the comparison. Lords of Salem cannot.
Overly designed sets and loads of disturbing nudity hope to draw your attention away from weak dialogue, weaker plotting, ridiculous acting and general pointlessness. More than anything, though, the film is dull – just a whole lot of nothing really happening. A lot to look at, but no action at all.
Just Sheri Moon Zombie and her acting prowess. Yeah, that’s really scarier than anything the film does intentionally.
