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Flirting in the Teacher’s Lounge

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Words and Pictures

by George Wolf

 

What the? A summer movie aimed squarely at adults?

Where are the superheroes? Where are the explosions? Where’s the teen angst?

Even with its faults, Words and Pictures feels like a cool breeze in July, as clever repartee and winning performances combine for a throwback to classic, feel-good romance films of decades past.

And true to that spirit, our romantics start out as sparring adversaries.

Jack (Clive Owen) teaches honors English at a prep school. His promise as a writer is a distant memory, and he eases the self-loathing with constant word-game challenges to his fellow teachers, and plenty of alcohol. His antics on both fronts have led to his job hanging in the balance.

Dina (Juliette Binoche) is a respected artist struggling with failing health. She arrives at the school to teach honors art, and is immediately put off by Jack’s confrontational nature.

The confrontations escalate once Jack’s students tell him the new art teacher’s mantra:  pictures are more vital than words.

Oh, no she dih-eh!

Like many of us of a certain age, screenwriter Gerald Di Pego is clearly chagrined at how society devalues not only the classic works of art and literature, but their very building blocks: images and prose. That complaint may not be new, but Di Pego finds some fun while pointing out that it’s still very relevant.

His script still has minefields aplenty – contrived situations, superfluous subplots and oversimplified personal demons – and Fred Schepisi’s lackluster direction doesn’t help, but Owen and Binoche are good enough to rise above it. They make every one of their scenes together a sublime delight.

You’ll have no trouble figuring out where Words and Pictures is going, but the witty wordplay and frisky chemistry of two veteran talents make it worth seeing through.

 Verdict-3-0-Stars

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ehQimFhQmQg

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Romance Porn

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The Fault in Our Stars

by George Wolf

With Don Jon last year, Joseph Gordon-Levitt wondered if maybe, idealized romance fantasies can be as harmful to actual relationships as pornography.

The Fault in Our Stars is just the latest example to make his point.

Based on the best seller by John Green, it centers on an ordinary teenage girl (who of course narrates, to reinforce the feeling for the teenage girls watching that it’s their story, too). But she’s not really ordinary, she’s just waiting for that dreamy boy to come into her life and instantly see the special snowflake that she truly is, forsaking everything in his own life to make sure she feels special every special second of every special day.

Shailene Woodley stars as Hazel, a young cancer patient who dreads her support group, but goes just to make her parents happy. Then, one day, Augustus Waters (Ansel Elgort) comes to group, takes one look at Hazel and is instantly infatuated.

So, this time, the young lovers have to deal with cancer, adding an extra layer of manipulation opportunity to be explored.

Early on, Hazel expresses disdain for those unrealistic stories where “nothing is too messed up that can’t be fixed with a Peter Gabriel song.” Then, guess what? Some of those songs on the soundtrack are nothing more than bad Peter Gabriel rip-offs.

Woodley is a gifted actress, and does manage to bring some depth to Hazel, who admittedly is the most well-rounded character in the script. Augustus is a one-dimensional mess, and Elgort (“Tommy” in the recent Carrie remake) can do little more than cast adoring glances and mug for the camera. But really, that’s what he’s there for, anyway.

Movies like this (and The Perks of Being a Wallflower, and The Spectacular Now, and…) want you to believe their characters are unconventional and their message is insightful, when the exact opposite is true.

The Fault in Our Stars is the same old bill of goods.

Verdict-2-0-Stars

 

 

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Don’t Call It Lip Service

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Burt’s Buzz

by Hope Madden

Burt Shavitz does not measure success the way most of us do, but if you like old hippies, bees and golden retrievers, he may have just the movie for you.

That bearded kisser that graces the little tins of Burt’s Bees creams and jellies belongs to Shavitz, and filmmaker Jody Shapiro hopes to get behind those rheumy eyes with his new documentary, Burt’s Buzz. He’s not the only one. His film is littered with folks – Burt’s brother, his caretaker, his marketing contact in Taiwan – who would dearly like to make a personal connection, get to know the real Burt.

It turns out, the man is a bit of a conundrum, a walking contradiction, even – which should come as no surprise from the guy who uses his own ugly mug to hawk beauty balms.

Shapiro’s film is most engaging when it lets itself simply capture the contradictions: the septuagenarian Mainer living without electricity or hot water as he’s greeted by throngs of screaming, bee-costumed fans in a Taiwan airport; the fella too frugal to fix his hot water heater, complaining that the marketing folks didn’t bring Turkish coffee, but regular. But Burt is an eccentric old cuss and, more than anything, he is not what you expect and doesn’t care.

For many, including Shaprio, the film might seem a likely expose on the hostile takeover that forced beekeeper Shavitz from his company in the Nineties, when his then-partner in life and business Roxanne Quimby bought him out, only to later sell the company to Clorox for epic riches. (Yes, the international bleach company owns the earth-friendly Burt’s Bees. This film breathes these little ironies.)

But pity is not appropriate. Shavitz walked away from corporate wealth as a youth when he turned down the chance to run his family business, and walked away from prestige and fame in the Sixties when he quit his successful venture as a photo journalist to move to an abandoned barn in Upstate New York.

It’s hard to tell whether Shapiro is impatient with his subject, or whether he’s afraid the audience will be, but when the filmmaker can just settle down and let the cameras roll, you finally get a feel for who Burt Shavitz is. It’d be too patronizing and myopic to call his a simple life – I haven’t been to Taiwan, I never photographed Malcolm X, I never lost a multimillion dollar company, and none of that seems simple to me.

He isn’t simple, isn’t quaint, and is not likely to be what you expect. Except when he is.

Verdict-3-5-Stars

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Deja Cruise

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Edge of Tomorrow

by George Wolf

Remember how badass Sigourney Weaver’s Aliens battle suit was back in ’86?

Edge of Tomorrow remembers it, along with a few other things about that movie and others, weaving all its inspirations into an entertaining slice of summer escapism.

As Lt. Col. Bill Cage, Tom Cruise is also battling aliens, albeit from a safe distance. Earth has been invaded by “mimics,” and Cage never met a TV talk show he didn’t see as a perfect chance to flash a handsome smile and sell the merits of a war that someone else will fight.

Until, that is, he’s suddenly fitted with his own super suit and made part of a doomed mission. After dying, he wakes up back at boot camp, reliving the same events over and over, death after death, until he can figure out how to break the time loop.

Cage’s first step toward an answer is meeting Rita (Emily Blunt), a celebrated war hero who admits she not only knows his story, she’s lived it.

Cruise’s latest is the smart sci-fi adventure that his last so badly wanted to be. Though Oblivion did boast more truly eye popping visuals, Edge of Tomorrow scores with sharp writing, crisp direction, vivid imagination and one damn good co-star.

Truly, Blunt classes up any project, from awful (The Wolfman) to awesome (Looper) to in-between (The Five Year Engagement). Here, she not only gives Cruise the strong female counterpart his movies often lack, she makes Rita the strongest personality, and the film is better for it.

For his part, Cruise shows some welcome range early on as a cowardly chickenhawk, slowly falling back into autopilot mode the more Cage becomes battle-hardened and heroic. Either way, his charm never wavers.

The team of screenwriters gives a sleek adaptation to Hiroshi Sakurazaka’s novel “All You Need is Kill.” Yes, we’ve seen these elements before, but the film carries a wise self-awareness about the familiarity, and is even able to toe the line between questioning the folly of war and respecting the sacrifice of soldiers in battle.

Director Doug Liman (Go/The Bourne Identity/Fair Game/Mr. and Mrs. Smith) again proves he knows his way around an action scene. Moreover, he handles the “Groundhog Day” transitions skillfully, injecting some humor and varying scene structure so that the repetitive events don’t feel repetitive.

Look past the isn’t-that-the-name-of-an-SNL-soap-opera-parody title, and Edge of Tomorrow delivers.

 Verdict-3-5-Stars

 

 

 

For Your Queue

Beautiful Losers for Your Queue

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Available today on DVD and Blu-Ray is the utterly unseen but stingingly lovely portrait of American poverty, The Motel Life. Boasting beautiful performances from Emile Hirsch, Dakota Fanning and, in particular, Stephen Dorff, this story of brothers, hope, and the bad choices that kick survival in the teeth is worth checking out.

Motel Life, at times, feels reminiscent  of Gus Van Zant’s 1989 tale of rambling cons and druggies Drugstore Cowboy. Spun from the haunted existence on the fringes, with dusty small towns and cheap motels, populated by broken people making poor decisions, Drugstore Cowboy is another breathtaking image of the fight to change your direction.

Outtakes

Countdown: The Best Sports Commentators on Film

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Oh glorious days! When was the last time we had a whole weekend of gorgeous weather? After eight straight months of snow, it was just awesome to make it through May without any icy accumulation – unless you count those hail storms from a couple weeks back. But that’s all over, and we had a whole weekend of sun for baseball (Clippers double header, Indians sweep!). Hell, even the Memorial golf tournament enjoyed perhaps the best weather in its history. It was like a whole weekend needed some kind of announcer to color commentate. It all put us in the mind of some of our favorite onscreen sports announcers.

5. Fred Willard, Jim Piddock: Best in Show (2000)

Christopher Guest’s drolly hilarious send up of dog culture gets, as is so often the case, splashes of lunacy from Fred Willard. In this case, his ignoramus color commentary during the Mayflower Kennel Dog Club Show opposite the perfectly dry Jim Paddock punctures the proceedings perfectly.

4. John C. McGinley: 42 (2013)

As famed sports announcer and voice of the Dodgers Red Barber, McGinley had big shoes to fill. His spot-on delivery added to the historical context 42 was hoping to articulate, and also pointed to Barber as an unflappable pro with a sense of humor and a fluid, soothing delivery.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WEBPl-OxklU

3. Gary Cole/Jason Bateman: Dodgeball (2004)

The Dodgeball straight man/color commentary duo of Cotton McKnight (Cole) and Pepper Brooks (Bateman) from ESPN 8: The Ocho brought that classic bout of titans the gravitas it deserved. Bateman’s as over-the-top as he has ever been in his career, and consummate pro Cole hits dead pan gold as the play by play.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=84cwztN3nms

2. Bob Uecker: Major League (1989)

If there is one thing that makes Major League a timeless classic (it is, too!), it’s Bob Uecker’s hilarious play by play announcer. Fed up, feisty and probably drunk, his Harry Doyle kept the film’s pace high and the laughs continuous.

1. Bill Murray: Caddyshack (1980)

‘It’s in the hole!” Proving that he can do anything at all, Bill  Murray puts tears in our eyes as assistant greenskeeper Carl Spackler, imagining his own Cinderella story of coming out of nowhere to win the Masters.

 

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Terrific Texas Trio

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Cold in July

by Hope Madden

Pulpy, seedy and hot with hidden dangers, Cold in July is that uniquely Southern crime drama that moseys at its own pace as it unveils its lurid details.

Michael C. Hall turns in his Dexter lab coat  in favor of a mullet and short-sleeved button down as Richard Dane, the Texan family man who startles a burglar and accidentally puts a bullet in his head.

Thus begins our investigation of Texan ideas of manhood.

Hailed a local hero, Dane is troubled by his own actions, but even more troubled when the dead boy’s ex-con father (a delightfully salty Sam Shepard) shows up looking for revenge.

Nothing’s as it seems in this twisty yarn that weaves through corruption, deception and the elusive honor in masculinity.

Here and in several other recent turns, Hall has proven a cagey character actor able to slip on the skin of wildly different characters and find an authentic human heartbeat. Shepard, a seasoned pro, also performs admirably, but both are routinely outshone by the sheer joyous swagger Don Johnson brings to his role as a flamboyant  Texas P.I.

With Johnson comes some much needed wry humor. His character’s entrance also alters the trajectory of the story, and while the film benefits from the change of course, it also never fully resolves the questions brought up during its first act.

Paternal anxiety fuels the sometimes questionable decisions made by the threesome, and the sordid, conspiracy-riddled mess they find themselves in is pure Joe R. Lansdale (Bubba  Ho-Tep!).

That great (and often mediocre) purveyor of pulp wrote the source material that’s adapted here by director Jim Mickle and his creative partner, co-star Nick Damici.

The duo have honed a storytelling style that never ceases to compel, with previous efforts (Stake Land and We Are What We Are, in particular) worth seeking out. This effort takes too long to find its path and its pace, feeling in the end like two separate films sewn together. Questionable character motives don’t help matters. But, together with a gripping trio of performances, the filmmakers have crafted a potent, unwholesome little thriller.

 

Verdict-3-5-Stars

 

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No Badass is Safe

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Maleficent

by Hope Madden

Hey, thanks a lot Wicked.

For those of us who love a good villain for their terrifying villainy, the popularity of the stage musical Wicked has created a bit of a problem: the neutering of the greatest of the greats. Gregory Maguire started it when he gave the Wicked Witch of the West a political backstory that exposed her self-sacrifice and good nature.

Now Disney wants to turn their greatest and most terrifying villain, Sleeping Beauty‘s Maleficent, into another role model.

Bah!

I’ll give them this. They can cast a lead.

Angelina Jolie has always cut an imposing, otherworldly figure, and Maleficent’s horns and leather look right at home. She offers the chilly elegance, dry humor and shadowy grace needed to bring the animated evildoer to life.

Plus, she looks great. And the film looks great – we’d expect nothing less from first-time director, longtime visual effects and set design maestro Robert Stromberg. But it’s not enough to save the effort.

The truly talented Elle Fanning struggles in an anemically-written role while Sharlto Copley flails, saddled with a character whose descent into madness is articulated with little more than overacting.

The basis of the problem is a toothless script by Linda Woolverton. Less the girl-power theme that elevated Frozen (another Wicked rip off) and more a bitter pill about untrustworthy men, the film feels mean in all the wrong ways. Woolverton’s also littered the enchanted landscape with forgettable or annoying characters – the three pixies of Disney’s ’59 animated film devolve from adorable, amusing pips to annoying, useless caregivers.

Stromberg’s plodding pace helps little. He forever undercuts any tension he builds, and the film suffers immeasurably from lack of momentum.

He and Woolverton could have learned a lot from the flawed but watchable Snow White and the Huntsmen (2012), a film that sought to update the old fable with a larger focus on its great villain without de-fanging her bite. Instead, Maleficent takes the very strongest element of the Sleeping Beauty fairy tale and weakens it.

Look out, Darth Vader. At the rate Hollywood is corrupting our great villains, you’ll be singing show tunes in no time.

 

Verdict-2-0-Stars

 

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Shooting from the Lip

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 A Million Ways to Die in the West

by George Wolf

 

Picture Seth MacFarlane cracking wise as he watches an old western, and you’re probably not far from the inspiration for A Million Ways to Die in the West.

So how well do MacFarlane’s modern comedy cow patties work when dropped into a pasture of Old West cliches?

Pretty dang well, pardner.

MacFarlane, who co-writes and directs, also stars as Albert, a timid sheep farmer who’s brokenhearted over losing Louise (Amanda Seyfried) to the dashing Foy, owner of the town mustache emporium (Neil Patrick Harris).

Things start looking up when Anna (Charlize Theron) rides into town, and as she and Albert get friendly, Anna conveniently forgets to mention she’s already married to Clinch (Liam Neeson), the most feared gunslinger in the land.

With MacFarlane, you pretty much know what’s coming:  cutaway gags to reinforce a line, toilet humor, and sex jokes (turned up a notch here by the always-demure Sarah Silverman as a town prostitute). But the film also has good fun with the historical setting, as Albert often reacts to his world like a wiseass who just arrived from the future.

Even so, MacFarlane is wise enough not to resort to outright mockery, always keeping the door cracked open just enough to let some homage shine through.

The chemistry between MacFarlane and Theron helps loads. You saw it when she helped him with a bit during his stint as Oscar host in 2012 and you see it here:  they really like each other, and she thinks he’s really funny. Together, they’re a charming pair.

The middle suffers a bit from comedy drought, but the laughs come faster as Albert nears his final showdown with the evil Clinch. Expect a cast more than ready to poke fun at themselves, some very clever songs, a few inspired cameos and two extra scenes after the credits start rolling.

A Million Ways to Die in the West is a big, broad idea that’s thrown on the screen with more frenzy than focus. But will you laugh?

Darn tootin’.

Verdict-3-0-Stars

 

 

Outtakes

They’re Bad, They’re Nationwide

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This weekend, Angelina Jolie gets the chance to prove her worth as she brings the best animated villain – Sleeping Beauty’s Maleficent – to life. Among the greatest villains of all time, Maleficent shines brightest even among Disney’s early, magnificent villain output. And that drag she can turn into?! Get out!

It put is in the mood to celebrate cinema’s great villainy with a countdown of the 15 best villains in film.

 

15. Pinhead

Hellraiser in 1987 might have been a forgettable Eighties horror flick were it not for the imagination of Clive Barker, whose sado-masochistic Cenobites journeyed from hell at curious humans’ mistaken request. Chief among them, the elegantly sadistic Pinhead strikes quite a figure with his leather and perfectly placed metal.

Quote: The box. You opened it. We came.

Hellraiser_B2_Pinhead-4

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

14. Max Cady

Whether Robert Mitchum in 1962 or Robert DeNiro in 1991, this tattooed, backwoods psychopath leaves an impression and a cloud of cigar smoke.

Quote: Come out! Come out wherever you are!

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13. Urusula

One of the reasons Disney bounced back from decades of anemic cartoon output with their 1981 Hans Christien Anderson reboot The Little Mermaid was that they finally remembered the value of a good villain, and the sinister, baritone sea-witch Ursula fit that bill.

Quote: Come in, my child. We mustn’t lurk in doorways, it’s rude. One might question your upbringing.

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12. Buffalo Bill

The Silence of the Lambs was the  most honored, most celebrated film of 1991, and yet the miraculous Ted Levine went strangely unnoticed. Dr. Lecter was not the only figure to terrify us in the film, and Levin’s savage menace perfectly offset Lecter’s cool headed danger.

Quote: It rubs  the lotion on its skin. It does this whenever it is told.

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11. Keyser Soze

This one actor managed to play two different iconic, anonymous killers in 1995, establishing an award-winning career that has bloomed again just recently. The Usual Suspects spins a yarn about a puppet master boogeyman who is everywhere, controls everything, and is willing and capable of doing anything.

Quote: Who is Keyser Soze?

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10. Samara

Gore Verbinski’s 2002  J-horror remake The Ring opened a genre floodgate with dozens of immediate copycats. His skill as a director and his cast certainly helped, but it was the terrifying central villain – the shadowy, sinister, wet and slimy cherub Samara in the well – that made the lasting impression.

Quote: Everyone will suffer.

samara

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

9. Cruella de Vil

Disney’s 1961 animated puppy-napping tale was hardly one of their finest efforts, but it did boast one of Walt., Inc’s wickedest villains. Bony, pasty and brandishing a cigarette in a long, sleek holder, Cruelle de Vil epitomized the evils of money. Sort of an early Monty Burns, if you will.

Quote: I worship furs! Is there a woman in this wretched world who doesn’t?

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8. Anton Chigurh

Javier Bardem spooky, tenacious psychopath in No Country for Old Men had such a magnificently twisted sense of purpose, you almost admired him. As long as he wasn’t looking for you.

Quote: What’s the most you ever lost in a coin toss?

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7. Hans Gruber

Alan Rickman did every bit as much to make Die Hard the unforgettable Christmas romp as Bruce Willis. Ever the disdainful straight man to John McLane’s walkie-talkie wise cracker, Rickman brought an irritated elegance to the role of mastermind.

Quote: Do you really think you have a chance against us, Mr. Cowboy?

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6. Wicked Queen

Walt Disney understood the relevance of a good villain perhaps better than any filmmaker of his time, and he proved that right from the get go. Snow White’s ageless Wicked Queen and her bulbous-eyed old hag alter ego both remain the best reasons to dust off the old 1937 classic.

Quote: Wait til you taste one, dearie. Like to try one?

Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs The Evil Queen 1937

 

 

5. The Joker

The Joker is a great villain regardless of the actor, but in 2008, Heath Ledger took ownership of the role. Dangerous, charismatic, darkly unpredictable, he wasn’t interested in money or power, just  chaos. It was a terrifying, sinister place he took the evil clown, and the role will never be the same again.

Quote: I’m not a monster. I’m just ahead of the curve.

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4. Maleficent

Jolie has big shoes to fill, taking on the character that, let’s be honest, is the only reason to sit through Disney’s 1959 animated flick. All angles and cloaks, she’s seriously evil. She casts a spell of death, then turns into a dragon and calls on the powers of hell. Of hell! In a Disney movie. That’s hard core.

Quote: Why so melancholy?

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3. Hannibal Lecter

Anthony Hopkins’s restrained, poised, well-postured psychopath offered the kind of chilly, flesh-crawling terror we hadn’t really seen before 1991’s The Silence of the Lambs. Never flamboyant or showy, the performance felt genuine, which made it that much more terrifying. He was a brand new kind of nightmare, one who was way smarter than you and had a taste for flesh.

Quote: Ready when you are, Sergeant Pembry.

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2. Darth Vader

At this point in history, it’s as if Darth Vader has always existed, but in 1977 – holy shit! That voice and that crazy breathing thing,the cloak and the helmet – coolest looking villain ever! Was he a dude? Was he a machine? A dude with a machine for a head? The Dark Lord was such a unique, powerful villain. James Earl Jones can make any dialogue sound important and impressive, meanwhile, David Prowse’s imposing physicality gave him the presence of a dark god. And a franchise was born.

Quote: Don’t underestimate the Force.

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1. Wicked Witch of the West

It’s tough to top Darth Vader and Hannibal Lecter, but Margaret Hamilton did it. Her iconic look served her beautifully in the jazz-hands glamour of Oz. She looked amazing, plus she had flying monkeys to do her  bidding! She was a glorious image of evil, and because she was in relentless pursuit of a little, lost girl, she became the stuff of nightmare for generations of children.

Quote: I’ll get you, my pretty!

 

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Hope Madden and George Wolf … get it?