Category Archives: New In Theaters

Reviews of what’s out now

New In Theaters

Crane, Meet Dragon

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Karate Kid: Legends

by George Wolf

The success of cable’s Cobra Kai probably made a new Karate Kid movie pretty inevitable. So here we are, in the Kai universe, bringing Ralph Macchio, Jackie Chan and the ghost of Pat Morita all together for Karate Kid: Legends.

Don’t expect “The Crane,” the new move is “Dragon Kick,” but getting to it follows the well worn KK formula. Li Fong (Ben Wang, last seen in Mean Girls) and his Mom (Ming-Na Wen) move from Bejing to NYC, where Li meets the cute Mia (Sadie Stanley) even before the first day of high school.

But Mia’s ex-boyfriend Conor (Aramis Knight, who should license his name for a new cologne) is mean, jealous and the reigning champ of the 5 boroughs karate tournament. And this year’s tourney is coming up.

Can Li put aside his tragic past – not to mention the vow he made to his mother – and shock the crowd?

Give screenwriter Rob Leiber credit for working some much appreciated script flips inside these plug-and-play story beats.

First, Li is no novice when he comes to town. He’d been studying with Mr. Han (Jackie Chan) back home, and is already skilled enough to train Mia’s Dad (Joshua Jackson) – a former boxer looking for much needed prize money – for his upcoming fight.

Plus, the choreography for Li’s early fights with baddies and bullies is total Jackie Chan – complete with nimble acrobatics and a humorous, Chaplin-esqe style that delights. Still, Li is in need of help, so Mr. Han arrives to provide it.

But Han’s specialty is Kung Fu. Where can they find a karate master? Enter Daniel LaRusso (Macchio), the prize student of Han’s old fried, Mr. Miyagi.

It is a nostalgic kick seeing them train Li together, and some nice moments of goofy humor come from the pairing. But like almost every other positive in the film, they’re buried under director Jonathan Entwistle’s breakneck pace.

At barely 90 minutes, a film that was already less-than-subtle becomes a lightning quick series of contrived blows to the head that we know are coming but powerless to stop. Whether from meat cleaver editing or a calculated nod to short attention spans, the result feels too much like an ESPN 30 for 30 highlight reel, robbing us of any chance to get truly invested and forget that we already know how this ends.

Still, Legends manages to land a few fun blows. Just don’t blink or you’ll miss ’em.

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Jane Says

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Jane Austen Wrecked My Life

by George Wolf

The Cult of Jane is strong, for good reason. On film, Austen’s groundbreaking work has inspired faithful adaptations, inspired re-imaginings and even romance fantasy. Jane Austen Wrecked My Life (Jane Austen a gâché ma vie) gets filed behind door number three, a fanciful rom-com that finds its joy by throwing a devoted fan into the Austen formula.

Agathe Robinson (Anatomy of a Fall‘s Camille Rutherford) is a “desperately single” bookseller who has dreams of becoming a writer -dreams that she is too scared to pursue. Her love life falls along the same lines, so Agathe seems destined to wander through life in her own fantasy world.

Things change when Agathe’s friend with possible benefits Felix (Pablo Pauly) submits the first chapters of her manuscript to a Jane Austen residency. The organizers there are impressed enough to offer Agathe a spot at their next writer’s retreat, where she’s greeted by Jane’s great-great-great-great nephew Mr. Darcy, er, I mean Oliver (Charlie Anson).

Oliver thinks Jane is overrated. Agathe thinks Oliver is unbearable and arrogant. Felix thinks he and Agathe are ready to take things to the next level.

Guess how that all plays out.

Writer/director Laura Piani knows you can guess, and she makes sure her feature debut leans into that part of the fun. This is meta Jane that manages to be both entirely predictable and consistently pleasing. It’s lush and beautifully shot, intelligent but always accessible, with strong performances and plenty of gently amusing dialog.

And while Piani scores by planting Austen’s centuries-old anxieties into our timeline, she can never quite find a groove of comedy and/or romance that feels memorable. This Jane Austen is hardly a wreck, but it lands as more sweet distraction than solid persuasion.

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Mother’s Little Helper

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Bring Her Back

by Hope Madden

Damn, son. The Philippou brothers know how to unsettle you.

Filmmakers Danny and Michael Philippou drew attention in 2022 for their wildly popular feature debut, Talk to Me. Before releasing the sequel, due out this August, the pair changes the game up with a different, but at least equally disturbing, look at grief.

Sora Wong and Billy Barratt are stepsiblings Piper and Andy. Andy, on the cusp of 18, is fiercely protective of his visually impaired little sister. When their dad dies unexpectedly, the pair finds themselves navigating the world of foster parenting until Andy can apply for legal custody and they can get their own place.

In the interim, Laura (the always welcome Sally Hawkins) has agreed to take them in. Well, she agreed to take in Piper, and kind of wound up saddled with Andy. Not to worry! The upbeat former counselor, whose own daughter had been blind, will find the room.

Hawkins is a dream. The film asks a great deal of her character, and she delivers on every request and more. There are countless facets to Laura, so many that a weaker actor would have had trouble delivering the depth necessary to connect them authentically. Hawkins doesn’t just manage the depth; she mines it effortlessly.

She’s surrounded by an extremely natural and charismatic young ensemble. Wong, in her first professional acting role, charms as a kid who never gives her disability a second thought. Barratt delivers heartbreaking tenderness under general adolescent dumbassedness and winds up being the character you root hardest for.

Jonah Wren Phillips haunts the film. Though he is utterly terrifying, there’s also something unmistakably sad in the performance that shakes you.  

Danny Philippou, who again co-writes with Bill Hinzman, grounds the film in character and upends tropes so often that on the rare occasion that Bring Her Back falls to cliché, it’s noticeable.

It’s a slow burn, a movie that communicates dread brilliantly with its cinematography and pacing. But when Bring Her Back hits the gas, dude! Nastiness not for the squeamish! Especially if you have a thing about teeth, be warned. But the body horror always serves the narrative, deepening your sympathies even as it has you hiding your eyes.

Australia has a great habit of sending unsettling horror our way. The latest package from Down Under doesn’t disappoint.

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Samurai West

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Tornado

by George Wolf

Less than ten minutes into Tornado, you’ll be wondering about the cinematographer behind the expansive beauty on the screen. That would be the Oscar-nominated Robbie Ryan (The Favourite, Poor Things), who elevates writer/director John Maclean’s Samurai survival thriller with consistently sumptuous framing of Scotland’s savage beauty.

In the late 1790’s, young Tornado (Kôki) is on the run from a ruthless crime gang led by Sugarman (Tim Roth) and his son Little Sugar (Jack Lowden). Tornado performs enchanting puppet shows with her father Fujin (Takehiro Hira), but when their traveling show crosses paths with Sugarman and his boys, some impulsive choices lead to deadly consequences.

A full decade after Maclean’s impressive debut Slow West (also shot by Ryan), he returns to a similar story structure. A young adult must again navigate harsh countryside and the threat of violence, while keeping their wits about them and their focus on a committed goal.

But this time, the young Tornado has a bit more going for her when events turn ugly. Fujin is a Samurai, and though he has been teaching his daughter the importance of patience and peace, Tornado is more than handy with a sword.

She also prefers to speak English and often scoffs at her father’s attempts to impart wisdom, character traits Maclean uses to place her between cultures. Tornado seems more vulnerable as Sugarman closes in, and the need to accept her destiny becomes increasingly clear.

Anyone who saw Slow West won’t be surprised by the Western themes here, but the influence of martial arts classics starts simmering early in Tornado before Maclean puts Samurai lore at the heart of act three. The transition isn’t completely seamless and does seem a bit overdue by the time it arrives, but terrific performances by both Kôki and Roth create a compelling dynamic on the way to a showdown.

The offbeat humor of Slow West is missed, and though the support cast is strong (especially Joanne Whalley and Jack Morris), no side character makes a mark as unforgettable as Ben Mendelsohn’s Payne from a decade ago.

Instead, it’s Ryan who isn’t afraid to steal the show. Tornado is a simply gorgeous movie, a compelling Samurai Western hybrid that’s painted on a canvas deserving of the big screen.

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Running Man

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Mission: Impossible – The Final Reckoning

by George Wolf

Remember that eye-popping train stunt in Dead Reckoning? How is this latest Mission: Impossible chapter possibly going to up that ante? Well, it takes two of the film’s nearly three hours to get there, but once Tom Cruise and director/co-writer Christopher McQuarrie break out the dual bi-planes, hang on for some serious thrills.

And The Final Reckoning delivers plenty of them, more than enough to cruise past (pun intended) some clunky moments for a crowd-pleasing, satisfying capper to an epic franchise.

We pick up where they left us two years ago, with Ethan Hunt (Cruise) and his team of Luther (Ving Rhames), Benji (Simon Pegg), and Grace (Hayley Atwell) on the trail of villain Gabriel (Esai Morales) and the secrets of disarming the doomsday AI program known as “The Entity.”

In just 72 hours, The Entity’s efforts to frighten and divide the population will enable it to gain control over every nuclear arsenal in the world, and deploy each one. Hunt’s mission? Find The Entity’s original source code, and pair it with Luther’s poison pill algorithm that will distort the AI’s reality enough to bring it down.

That’s a mighty big ask in three days, one takes the MI team across the globe, under the sea and in the air for more IMAX-worthy stunts and camerawork. And Cruise – one of cinema’s great movie stars – sells every minute of it with his ageless physicality and effortless charisma.

And though the the film’s themes are mighty relevant, McQuarrie can lean too much on exposition dialog and some forced visual reminders. But he also knows the last three decades have earned some capital that the film spends quite well, bringing in plot points and characters from previous installments to play important parts of the plan. Sure, The Final Reckoning gets a bit sentimental toward the final shot, but after all this time that feels right.

It also feels like a fitting start to summer movie season, a fitting end to a solid franchise, and a fine mission accomplished.

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Black & Blue Hawaii

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Lilo & Stitch

by Hope Madden

As a general rule, I’m no fan of Disney’s live action remakes. Loved Jon Favreau’s 2016 reimagining of The Jungle Book, but not a single reboot since has lived up to the impressive fun of that one, and most just feel like a soulless cash grab.

Can Lilo & Stitch, an update of Dean DeBlois and Chris Sanders surprise 2002 cultural treasure, meet that high bar?

No, but it comes a lot closer than most.

Sanders wrote and directed 2024’s beautiful emotional gut-punch The Wild Robot, and the pair is responsible for 2010’s equally brilliant How to Train Your Dragon. Director Dean Fleischer Camp’s update, based on an adapted screenplay by Chris Kekanoikalani Bright and Mike Van Waes, remains true to the original’s themes of outsiders longing for connection.

Also, the actual Hawaii is one of the few locations as eye-popping as any animated world. The new Lilo & Stitch is also blessed with a lead who surpasses her animated predecessor in wily spunk and pinchable cheeks. Maia Kealoha’s Lilo, never cloying or false, allows the film the sense of childlike chaos that helps it transcend the artificiality of the story.

The tale itself—about a cute, fuzzy, dangerous, alien scientific experiment crash landed in an undeveloped spot of Hawaii, chased by its creator as well as American intelligence, who’s taken in as a rescue dog by a lonely orphan—remains mainly true to the original.

Live action Stitch is at least as much fun as animated Stitch, although the moments of physical connection—hugs, pets, kisses on the nose–look off. But the joy between Lilo and Stitch is as vibrantly real as ever.

The balance of the cast—Sydney Agudong as Lilo’s frazzled older sister Nani, Zach Galifianakis as bumbling evil genius Jumba, Billy Magnussen as Earth fanboy Pleakley, among others—fully commit to the bit. They make the fun spots funnier and the emotional beats heart-tuggier.

The biggest let down is the updated script, which can’t match the original in terms of the delightfully, delicately human writing. But the contrast between the alien and natural world makes this a natural fit for the leap to live action, and the charming lawlessness of the story is as much fun today as it was in 2002.

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This Is the End

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Final Destination: Bloodlines

by Hope Madden

I’ll give you three reasons Final Destination: Bloodlines is the best since James Wong’s clever 2000 original, if not the best in the whole franchise.

Number one, gone is the nihilistic tone that had us all hating characters and waiting glibly for them to die. Instead, directors Zach Lipovsky and Adam B. Stein invest in character development. So, when Stefani (Kaitlyn Santa Juana) realizes her whole family is doomed, you find yourself emotionally attached to each of the damned.

The directors owe a debt to Santa Juana and the whole ensemble—little brother Charlie (Teo Briones), cousin Bobby (Owen Patrick Joyner), dear Uncle Howard (Alex Zahara) and especially, against all odds, cousin Erik (cast stand out Richard Harmon). The actors share a relatable familial bond that helps the film draw you in. And the presence of genre beloved Tony Todd in his final role seals the emotional deal.

An even larger debt is owed to an impressive writing team: Guy Busick (Ready or Not, Scream), Lori Evans Taylor, and Jon Watts (Spider-Man: Homecoming, Clown). We’ll give them Reason Number 2: a great script, full of pathos, tension, and the darkest humor. I laughed out loud often. Was it inappropriate? Probably, but it was no less enjoyable.

Reason Number Three, for this series, is the big one.  The Rube Goldberg of Death franchise boasts many clever, nasty kills and the sixth episode does not let us down. Smart, nutty and goretastic with some of the most impressive comic-beat editing of the year, the bloody mayhem in this film is giddy with its power.

The film offers affectionate nods to some of the franchise’s most memorable moments, but fans of the series would be pleased even without them. Rather than a photocopy of previous installments—one premonition saving a gaggle of good looking youngsters, only for Death to stalk them one by one in the order that they would have died without intervention—Bloodlines delivers as fresh an idea within the bounds of the mythology as you could ask for.

Plus we all get to spend a few more minutes with Tony Todd.

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Voice of Experience

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Hurry Up Tomorrow

by George Wolf

After the chaotic mess that was The Idol, it would have been easy for Abel Tesfaye (aka The Weeknd) to craft Hurry Up Tomorrow as a safely commercial extension of his new album.

To his credit, he doesn’t, and having Trey Edward Shults as his director and co-writer is the first sign that Tresfaye is after something more challenging. He gets that something, though it often frustrates more than it satisfies.

Tesfaye plays himself as a troubled superstar on tour. The crowds are huge and adoring, but a phone message (voiced by Riley Keough) accuses Abel of being a horrible, self-absorbed person, and his personal demons are taking such a toll on his voice that a doctor prescribes immediate rest. Abel’s manager Lee (Barry Keoghan) shrugs it off, assuring the star he is “invincible.”

A backstage meeting with the mysterious Anima (Jenna Ortega) leads to a day of fun and some lifted spirits, but it soon becomes obvious her very dangerous past may repeat itself in Abel’s very immediate future.

Early on, the skilled Shults (Krisha, It Comes at Night, Waves) brings some Gaspar Noé immersion vibes, rolling out cascades of pulsing music and flashing lights, extended takes and minimal dialog. But as this finally gives way to a thriller narrative that has echoes of Misery, the self-awareness of Keough’s accusations can’t save the film from the weight of self indulgence.

Ortega and Keoghan bring their usual sparks, enough to highlight Tresfaye’s limited acting range – though he is in fine voice. But despite the film’s overall ambition, the themes here are too old and familiar. And though Hurry Up Tomorrow can be visually interesting, the story it tells is never compelling, and only The Weeknd superfans should be hurrying out to see it.

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Flight of Fun

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Fight or Flight

by Brandon Thomas

Some might say we’re amidst a Josh Hartnett renaissance (Hartaissance?). 2023’s Oppenheimer saw the former teen heartthrob nearly steal the show in a more adult and subdued performance than we’re used to seeing from the actor. Last summer’s Trap was a complete 180 from the Oscar-winning drama, where Hartnett was allowed to lean into pure camp, and while the movie itself is pretty abysmal, Hartnett was having the time of his life. Fight or Flight – for better or worse – falls somewhere in the middle of the Hartaissance. 

Disgraced government operative Lucas Reyes (Hartnett) has spent the last few years drinking his way through Southeast Asia after being blacklisted when a mission went bad. While nursing one of his daily hangovers, Lucas is contacted by his former boss and lover (Katee Sackhoff, The Mandalorian) to help capture an elusive criminal named The Ghost. The only problem is that he has to capture the Ghost on a trans-Pacific flight that is also full of other assassins. 

You don’t go into Fight or Flight expecting originality. The film is a whole lot of Bullet Train, with a dash of John Wick (which it shares producers). It’s hard to fault director James Madigan and writers Brooks McLaren and D.J. Cotrona for this approach. Hard-hitting action with an ironic sense of humor is a formula that’s popular with audiences at the moment. The film irons out enough of a personality of its own, even if that’s mostly thanks to Hartnett.

Speaking of Hartnett, he’s once again relishing the opportunity to do something different. His resume already boasts a few action films, but Fight or Flight allows him to roll up his sleeves and get a bit messy with the stunts. Lucas is plenty capable in a fight, but it’s fun watching Hartnett reckon with his character’s rusty skills in the face of killers in their prime. Blending dangerous action with spot-on comic timing is a difficult needle to thread, and Hartnett is surprisingly good at it. 

Madigan makes the most of his first effort as director of a feature film. Having worked as a second-unit director for over a decade, Madigan has plenty of experience on action-packed sets, and he brings that skill to Fight or Flight. Not having a Marvel-type budget, the thrills are kept more grounded for the most part. Madigan gets a lot of mileage out of fun gags that involve broken wine glasses and a sprinkler head, just to name a few. Don’t even get me started about the chainsaw on a plane. This is an action director who understands that creative fights get the blood pumping harder than a CG fireball.

Despite getting an initial “been there, done that” feeling with Fight or Flight, the fun action mixed with a bonkers Josh Hartnett performance makes this one a worthwhile effort. 

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Send In the Clowns

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Clown in a Cornfield

by Hope Madden

Adam Cesare’s novel Clown in a Cornfield won the Bram Stoker Award for Best Young Adult Horror Novel. So, there had to be something there, right?

Eli Craig (of the utterly fantastic 2010 genre upending Tucker and Dale vs. Evil) handles directing duties. That seems like a good pairing. Cesare’s novel took a fresh look at slasher material. Craig has shown sharp instincts for deconstructing a horror subgenre with loads of blood and fun.

So why doesn’t Clown in a Cornfield work? Like, at all?

The problem’s not the cast. Katie Douglas charms as Quinn, the Philly transplant making possibly the wrong friends in her new hometown of Kettle Springs, Missouri. The last town doctor took off sometime after the Baypen Corn Syrup factory burned down, and Quinn’s dad (Aaron Abrams) jumped at the opening.

The town seems stuck in time, except for those hooligans making YouTube videos pretending Baypen’s beloved clown mascot Frendo is a bloodthirsty killer.

Thus, we establish the necessary slasher gang: final girl, her crush (Carson MacCormac), bitchy nemesis (Cassandra Potenza), and other nubile teens making bad decisions (Verity Marke, Ayo Solanke, Alexandre Martin Deakin).

Plus, townies, of course, the rube sheriff (Will Sasso) and the rich guy (Kevin Durand) among them.

With an unabashedly Jaws opening, Craig announced his film (like T&DvE) as a loving sendup of horror tropes. Unfortunately, the following 85 minutes feel more like a mirthless retread of better films than an inspired reimagining of cliches.

Craig never lands on a tone. Tongue-in-cheek dialog creeps into the most unsuitable scenes, teens suddenly slowing down an escape to wax comedic. Were the film an outright comedy, maybe that would slide. But Clown in a Cornfield isn’t played for laughs.

The scares are too telegraphed and borrowed to amount to much. Worse still are plot holes so deep and wide you could lose a combine. The second most interesting thing about the film is how little effort is devoted to a backstory that makes sense. The most interesting thing is the wild disregard for the “what happened to that guy?” instinct in the film’s finale.

I had high hopes for Craig’s return to genre filmmaking. Clown in a Cornfield disappoints.