This Is the End

Final Destination: Bloodlines

by Hope Madden

I’ll give you three reasons Final Destination: Bloodlines is the best since James Wong’s clever 2000 original, if not the best in the whole franchise.

Number one, gone is the nihilistic tone that had us all hating characters and waiting glibly for them to die. Instead, directors Zach Lipovsky and Adam B. Stein invest in character development. So, when Stefani (Kaitlyn Santa Juana) realizes her whole family is doomed, you find yourself emotionally attached to each of the damned.

The directors owe a debt to Santa Juana and the whole ensemble—little brother Charlie (Teo Briones), cousin Bobby (Owen Patrick Joyner), dear Uncle Howard (Alex Zahara) and especially, against all odds, cousin Erik (cast stand out Richard Harmon). The actors share a relatable familial bond that helps the film draw you in. And the presence of genre beloved Tony Todd in his final role seals the emotional deal.

An even larger debt is owed to an impressive writing team: Guy Busick (Ready or Not, Scream), Lori Evans Taylor, and Jon Watts (Spider-Man: Homecoming, Clown). We’ll give them Reason Number 2: a great script, full of pathos, tension, and the darkest humor. I laughed out loud often. Was it inappropriate? Probably, but it was no less enjoyable.

Reason Number Three, for this series, is the big one.  The Rube Goldberg of Death franchise boasts many clever, nasty kills and the sixth episode does not let us down. Smart, nutty and goretastic with some of the most impressive comic-beat editing of the year, the bloody mayhem in this film is giddy with its power.

The film offers affectionate nods to some of the franchise’s most memorable moments, but fans of the series would be pleased even without them. Rather than a photocopy of previous installments—one premonition saving a gaggle of good looking youngsters, only for Death to stalk them one by one in the order that they would have died without intervention—Bloodlines delivers as fresh an idea within the bounds of the mythology as you could ask for.

Plus we all get to spend a few more minutes with Tony Todd.

Voice of Experience

Hurry Up Tomorrow

by George Wolf

After the chaotic mess that was The Idol, it would have been easy for Abel Tesfaye (aka The Weeknd) to craft Hurry Up Tomorrow as a safely commercial extension of his new album.

To his credit, he doesn’t, and having Trey Edward Shults as his director and co-writer is the first sign that Tresfaye is after something more challenging. He gets that something, though it often frustrates more than it satisfies.

Tesfaye plays himself as a troubled superstar on tour. The crowds are huge and adoring, but a phone message (voiced by Riley Keough) accuses Abel of being a horrible, self-absorbed person, and his personal demons are taking such a toll on his voice that a doctor prescribes immediate rest. Abel’s manager Lee (Barry Keoghan) shrugs it off, assuring the star he is “invincible.”

A backstage meeting with the mysterious Anima (Jenna Ortega) leads to a day of fun and some lifted spirits, but it soon becomes obvious her very dangerous past may repeat itself in Abel’s very immediate future.

Early on, the skilled Shults (Krisha, It Comes at Night, Waves) brings some Gaspar Noé immersion vibes, rolling out cascades of pulsing music and flashing lights, extended takes and minimal dialog. But as this finally gives way to a thriller narrative that has echoes of Misery, the self-awareness of Keough’s accusations can’t save the film from the weight of self indulgence.

Ortega and Keoghan bring their usual sparks, enough to highlight Tresfaye’s limited acting range – though he is in fine voice. But despite the film’s overall ambition, the themes here are too old and familiar. And though Hurry Up Tomorrow can be visually interesting, the story it tells is never compelling, and only The Weeknd superfans should be hurrying out to see it.

Flight of Fun

Fight or Flight

by Brandon Thomas

Some might say we’re amidst a Josh Hartnett renaissance (Hartaissance?). 2023’s Oppenheimer saw the former teen heartthrob nearly steal the show in a more adult and subdued performance than we’re used to seeing from the actor. Last summer’s Trap was a complete 180 from the Oscar-winning drama, where Hartnett was allowed to lean into pure camp, and while the movie itself is pretty abysmal, Hartnett was having the time of his life. Fight or Flight – for better or worse – falls somewhere in the middle of the Hartaissance. 

Disgraced government operative Lucas Reyes (Hartnett) has spent the last few years drinking his way through Southeast Asia after being blacklisted when a mission went bad. While nursing one of his daily hangovers, Lucas is contacted by his former boss and lover (Katee Sackhoff, The Mandalorian) to help capture an elusive criminal named The Ghost. The only problem is that he has to capture the Ghost on a trans-Pacific flight that is also full of other assassins. 

You don’t go into Fight or Flight expecting originality. The film is a whole lot of Bullet Train, with a dash of John Wick (which it shares producers). It’s hard to fault director James Madigan and writers Brooks McLaren and D.J. Cotrona for this approach. Hard-hitting action with an ironic sense of humor is a formula that’s popular with audiences at the moment. The film irons out enough of a personality of its own, even if that’s mostly thanks to Hartnett.

Speaking of Hartnett, he’s once again relishing the opportunity to do something different. His resume already boasts a few action films, but Fight or Flight allows him to roll up his sleeves and get a bit messy with the stunts. Lucas is plenty capable in a fight, but it’s fun watching Hartnett reckon with his character’s rusty skills in the face of killers in their prime. Blending dangerous action with spot-on comic timing is a difficult needle to thread, and Hartnett is surprisingly good at it. 

Madigan makes the most of his first effort as director of a feature film. Having worked as a second-unit director for over a decade, Madigan has plenty of experience on action-packed sets, and he brings that skill to Fight or Flight. Not having a Marvel-type budget, the thrills are kept more grounded for the most part. Madigan gets a lot of mileage out of fun gags that involve broken wine glasses and a sprinkler head, just to name a few. Don’t even get me started about the chainsaw on a plane. This is an action director who understands that creative fights get the blood pumping harder than a CG fireball.

Despite getting an initial “been there, done that” feeling with Fight or Flight, the fun action mixed with a bonkers Josh Hartnett performance makes this one a worthwhile effort. 

Send In the Clowns

Clown in a Cornfield

by Hope Madden

Adam Cesare’s novel Clown in a Cornfield won the Bram Stoker Award for Best Young Adult Horror Novel. So, there had to be something there, right?

Eli Craig (of the utterly fantastic 2010 genre upending Tucker and Dale vs. Evil) handles directing duties. That seems like a good pairing. Cesare’s novel took a fresh look at slasher material. Craig has shown sharp instincts for deconstructing a horror subgenre with loads of blood and fun.

So why doesn’t Clown in a Cornfield work? Like, at all?

The problem’s not the cast. Katie Douglas charms as Quinn, the Philly transplant making possibly the wrong friends in her new hometown of Kettle Springs, Missouri. The last town doctor took off sometime after the Baypen Corn Syrup factory burned down, and Quinn’s dad (Aaron Abrams) jumped at the opening.

The town seems stuck in time, except for those hooligans making YouTube videos pretending Baypen’s beloved clown mascot Frendo is a bloodthirsty killer.

Thus, we establish the necessary slasher gang: final girl, her crush (Carson MacCormac), bitchy nemesis (Cassandra Potenza), and other nubile teens making bad decisions (Verity Marke, Ayo Solanke, Alexandre Martin Deakin).

Plus, townies, of course, the rube sheriff (Will Sasso) and the rich guy (Kevin Durand) among them.

With an unabashedly Jaws opening, Craig announced his film (like T&DvE) as a loving sendup of horror tropes. Unfortunately, the following 85 minutes feel more like a mirthless retread of better films than an inspired reimagining of cliches.

Craig never lands on a tone. Tongue-in-cheek dialog creeps into the most unsuitable scenes, teens suddenly slowing down an escape to wax comedic. Were the film an outright comedy, maybe that would slide. But Clown in a Cornfield isn’t played for laughs.

The scares are too telegraphed and borrowed to amount to much. Worse still are plot holes so deep and wide you could lose a combine. The second most interesting thing about the film is how little effort is devoted to a backstory that makes sense. The most interesting thing is the wild disregard for the “what happened to that guy?” instinct in the film’s finale.

I had high hopes for Craig’s return to genre filmmaking. Clown in a Cornfield disappoints.

Tales From the Dark Side

Thunderbolts*

by George Wolf

In the post-Avengers world, CIA Director Valentina is quick to tell America that there is no one to protect us.

Well, make way for the Thunderbolts* (named for a peewee soccer team!)

Valentina (Julie Louis-Dreyfus, a treasure as always) makes her declaration while testifying at her own impeachment hearing. It seems she’s after unchecked power to alone decide who the criminals are (can you imagine such a thing?), and the details of Valentina’s attempts to develop her own brand of super-soldiers are about to come to light.

She has a plan to stop that, but it only ends up uniting now-Congressman Bucky Barnes (Sebastian Stan), Yelena Belova (Florence Pugh), Alexei “Red Guardian” Shostakov (David Harbour) “Ghost” Ava Starr (Hanna John-Kamen) JV Captain America John Walker (Wyatt Russell) and a mysterious guy named Bob (Lewis Pullman).

Red Guardian has been biding time operating a limo service (“we protect you from a boring evening!”) so he’s only too happy to get back in game, but the others aren’t so sure. And they have no idea what Bob’s deal is.

It turns out to be pretty dark and interesting, just like this new superteam origin story. Director Jake Shreier (Robot & Frank, Beef) and the writing team do a solid job balancing the required backstory exposition with superhero action and character driven humor (mainly via Harbor’s can’t-miss timing and some delicious deadpans from Louis-Dreyfus.)

And speaking of character driven, Pugh is just so good. As a new, all-powerful villain emerges, she and Yelena carry the film to some dark, psychological places in the third act. Thunderbolts* isn’t just interested in how this team assembles, it wants us to feel comfortable talking about why we all need a good support system, especially in the age of gaslighting, disinformation and power grabs.

A crowd-pleasing glimpse at what’s next comes in the post credits scene, and after the messy misstep of Brave New World, Thunderbolts* puts one back the MCU win column.

Unwelcome Back

The Surfer

by George Wolf

Have you seen Wake in Fright, the 1971 Australian nightmare with Donald Pleasence? How about The Swimmer from ’68, where Burt Lancaster’s delusions of greatness are slowly punctured by the reality of his past?

The Surfer will hit harder if you can appreciate how it blends the two for its own deranged tale, as Nicolas Cage takes full advantage of another chance to come unglued before our eyes.

Cage stars as the titular surfer, who has come back to Australia’s Luna Bay in hopes of buying his childhood home. He brings his son along to surprise him with the news, but quickly finds the locals most unwelcoming.

“Don’t live here, don’t surf here!”

The “Bay Boys” rule the beach, and their guru Scally (Julian McMahon) takes the surfer and son aside to give them one polite warning: best move along.

They oblige, but the surfer won’t give up his dream so easily. He returns solo and things quickly escalate with the Bay Boys until the surfer is bloody and barefoot, without money, phone, car, or friends.

The font of the opening credits sets the perfect retro vibe, and director Lorcan Finnegan (Vivarium) leans into it from there. The minimalistic score, wide frames and dramatic punch-ins cast a spell of 70s Ozploitation that makes a fine launching pad for Cage’s slide into lunacy.

Australian accent? You think Cage needs one to sell this quest for survival? He doesn’t, and writer Thomas Martin weaves his lack of dialect into the thread of wry humor that runs throughout the film. Like Wake in Fright, circumstances hold a stranger prisoner in a foreboding Australian town, where – like The Swimmer – the past comes calling.

The Surfer is often smart but can be less than subtle, with some “hey don’t miss this” camerawork – which, to be fair, aligns with the throwback feel – and a lesson about toxic masculinity that’s well-meaning but repetitive.

But there’s much to like here, starting with Cage. The surfer is the kind of role that’s in perfect sync with his legendary eccentricities. He’s a man on the verge for ninety minutes, and nearly all of those are too much fun to look away.

Simply Resistible

Another Simple Favor

by George Wolf

Five years ago, A Simple Favor delivered a pretty delicious slice of satire for the angsty modern woman/wife/mother. Buoyed by the chemistry of stars Anna Kendrick and Blake Lively, it mixed B-movie trappings with in-the-moment irony for a fun, twisty tale of gaslighting, betrayal, murder, and mommy vlogs.

Amazon Prime brings the two stars back together for Another Simple Favor, along with director Paul Feig and screenwriter Jessica Sharzer (sharing screenplay credit this time with Laeta Kalogridis). And while the mischievous spark is still there, it struggles for air under narrative excess.

Since putting the conniving Emily (Lively) away, Stephanie (Kendrick) has become a successful author still milking her role in the tabloid-ready murder mystery. So imagine everyone’s surprise when, who comes vamping in to Stephanie’s latest book reading but Emily herself, out on appeal with an appeal of her own.

She’s headed overseas to marry the dashing Dante Versano (Michele Morrone)! And Stephanie simply must come to Capri and be her Maid of Honor!

Why not? They’ll be gorgeous locales, incredible food, beautiful people, and there’s no way Emily could have cooked up some elaborate plan for revenge, right? Right?

It gets elaborate, all right, and not always in a fun way. Emily’s ex (Henry Golding) and Stephanie’s agent (Alex Newell) both come along for some arguably necessary reasons, and the introductions of Aunt Linda (Allison Janney) and Mom Margaret (Elizabeth Perkins) seem overly convoluted.

Much like Golding when his character is drunk, most everything about this sequel just screams “trying too hard.” If some secrets are good, more secrets must be better! And the mafia, yeah, throw some mafia family feuding in there, too! The longer we’re away from Steph and Emily, the more it drags.

But Lively and Kendrick always keep it watchable. They’ve got these roles down cold, and their snappy interplay remains frisky and fabulous. Together, they’re still simply irresistible. It’s the rest of Another Simple Favor that makes it easier to resist.

Miracle Misfortune

The Gullspang Miracle

by Brandon Thomas

For devoutly religious sisters Kari and May, miracles are as real as the air we breathe. Thirty years after the death of their older sister Lita, Kari and May believe they witness their own miracle while sitting in a real estate office in Sweden. Before them sits a woman that looks identical to their long-dead sister. This woman, Olaug, shares the same birthday as Lita, grew up in roughly the same area in Northern Norway as the sisters, and most importantly: shares DNA. As the story of Lita and Olaug’s separation unravels, so does the relationship between the initially ecstatic sisters and their newly found family member.

Maria Fredrikkson’s The Gullspang Miracle seemingly jumps out of a daytime soap storyline. At first, the story does seem too good to be true. How on Earth could two sisters randomly run into the twin of their long-dead sister all while trying to purchase an apartment nearly 1,000 miles from where they grew up? Oddly enough, the tale gets even more shocking and revelatory from there. 

As the story of Lita and Olaug’s birth unfolds – the two were separated during World War 2 due to the Nazi’s fascination with twins – the stark differences between Lita’s family and Olaug become more clear. While Kari, May and the rest of their family are deeply religious, Olaug does not share their views. In fact, she’s quite resentful of their faith and her belief that they are trying to convert her. As the film progresses, Olaug’s overall view of her new family becomes more and more negative. The change in feelings – on both sides – from joy to disappointment and resentment is quick and at times becomes cruel.

Fredrikkson crafts the film with an odd assortment of reenactments using the real sisters and their family, archival footage, and even outtakes. One of the best moments in the film involves Fredrikkson crying out from behind the camera about how she’s starting to question the believability of what the sisters are telling her. The nature of the truth and what that really is – and more importantly – what people want it to be is ultimately at the heart of The Gullspang Miracle. The truth of family is always complicated even when death and miraculous discovery isn’t a part of it. The harshness of the truth can be freeing for some and crippling for others.

Like the recent documentary Three Identical Strangers, The Gullspang Miracle is a riveting look at how being a family is about more than just blood and DNA.

Not All Who Wander Are Lost

A Desert

by Adam Barney

The desert is a scary place and for good reason – it’s easy to get lost, there are poisonous reptiles underfoot, the conditions will kill you, and you might even run into the most dangerous thing – strangers who choose to live out there.

Alex (Kai Lennox, Green Room) is a landscape photographer traveling around the American Southwest trying to recapture a spark from his early career. He likes to shoot abandoned buildings, but he has a burgeoning attraction to shooting portraits of the desert’s denizens.

He takes an interest in Renny (Zachary Sherman) and Susie Q (Ashley Smith), a drifter couple staying next door at his cheap motel. After too many drinks, they promise to be his tour guides and show him some hidden sights in the desert, places that no photographer has ever seen. Bad decisions are made.

After his daily check-ins stop, Alex’s wife Samantha (Sarah Lind, A Wounded Fawn) hires a P.I. (David Yow, Dinner in America, Under the Silver Lake) to go looking for her husband and retrace his steps. What follows is a sun-drenched, neo-noir mystery that may be a little thin on narrative but delivers on atmosphere and vibe.

The film sprinkles in some supernatural elements on the fringes like a creepy old movie theater and an abandoned scientific facility. Is there something more going on here or is that just the desert playing tricks on your mind? Don’t expect it to be Lost Highway or Southbound, but these otherworldly touches add a welcome surreal layer.

Director Joshua Erkman and co-writer Bossi Baker clearly have an affection for noir. They enhance the basic “man gone missing” mystery through their setting, which creates a pervasive and nightmarish sense of dread.

If you enjoy a good slow burn mystery, A Desert is a trip worth taking.

Ballet of Bullets

Havoc

by George Wolf

If you’ve seen The Raid or The Raid 2, you’re plenty familiar with the Gareth Evans brand of Gun Fu. With Havoc, he brings the same breakneck blood sport to Netflix. And by the time he’s done, you’ll be amazed none of that splatter got on your sofa.

Expect violence, turned up to eleven.

Tom Hardy takes the lead as Walker, a hardened detective in a seedy, unnamed metropolis. It’s clear Walker has taken part in his share of dirty dealings, and he’s looking for a way to finally get clear of owing local politician Lawrence Beaumont (Forest Whitaker) anything at all.

Walker gets his chance when Beaumont’s estranged son Charlie (Justin Cornwell) is part of a drug deal gone way wrong, and quickly earns a death sentence from a vengeful crime lord.

If Walker can get Charlie out of the city alive, all debts to Daddy Beaumont will be settled.

His forthright partner Ellie (Jessie Mei Li) brings the integrity Walker gave up long ago, and together they sort through increasing levels of goons, guns and corruption to complete the mission.

Yes, levels. Yes, like a video game. Writer/director Evans is careful to craft the setting as a familiar but ambiguous cesspool where escape will only be possible via wave upon wave of martial arts homages, frenetic camerawork and relentless bloodletting.

When it doubt, keep shooting.

Does it get ridiculous? Damn right it does, but Hardy keeps it grounded in anti-hero righteousness, a game supporting cast (including the always welcome Timothy Olyphant and Obstacle Corpse standout Gareth Tidball) fleshes out all the edges, and Evans brings the visual calling cards that anchor a savage ballet of bullets.

Is Havoc deep? Not at all. But does it hit the target? Yes it does, and anything else that might be in the vicinity.

Hope Madden and George Wolf … get it?