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Outtakes

Countdown to Celebrate Leonard Cohen’s 80th

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Do you remember the 21st night of September? Earth, Wind and Fire obviously can. So can we – George turned 50! And he wasn’t the only one blowing out candles (though he was definitely the cutest one). Bill Murray turned 64, Stephen King turned 67, and the great Leonard Cohen turned 80.

To celebrate these milestones, we decided to listen to some Cohen, who can fill any number of soundtracks. From Natural Born Killers to Shrek and dozens more, you’ve undoubtedly heard more Cohen in the movie theater than you ever have on the radio. Given the melancholy beauty of his work, it’s hardly surprising that filmmakers routinely turn to Cohen’s distinctive sound to provide ambiance, atmosphere, and often even an aid to characterization.

 

McCabe and Mrs. Miller (1971)

Robert Altman’s foray into Westerns produced the beautifully off-kilter McCabe and Mrs. Miller, a tale of love, progress, naiveté, opium, and snow. In creating the most human Western until Eastwood’s Unforgiven, Altman used haunting songs by Cohen to mirror the film’s melancholic poetry. Cohen gave the director permission for several songs from his first album, Songs of Leonard Cohen, because he’d been a fan of Altman’s earlier film, Brewster McCloud, but the songwriter didn’t at first care for McCabe and Mrs. Miller. Cohen’s first reaction notwithstanding, the music, Vilmos Zsigmond’s glorious photography, and the stellar performances from what would become the Altman stock company of actors came together to create an entirely unexpected genre film.

Quote: If your life is a leaf that the seasons tear off and condemn/They will bind you with love that is graceful and green as a stem

 

Secretary (2002)

Steven Shainberg’s charmingly subversive, sadomasochistic romance picture boasts, above all, a single, perfect performance from Maggie Gyllenhaal. Every other remarkable element – darkly clever script, strong casting, crisp visuals, and excellent soundtrack including the Cohen track “I’m Your Man” – takes a backseat to the role that made audiences wake up to the presence of this winsome-yet-naughty actress. The film – which manages to be diabolically humorous, emphatically politically incorrect, and yet entirely appealing – benefits in one quick scene from Cohen’s ability to capture all the same energies in lyrical form.

Quote: If you want a lover, I’ll do anything you ask me to/And if you want another kind of love I’ll wear a mask for you

 

Shrek (2001)

I’m not a huge fan of any entry in the Shrek franchise, but the first film gets big props for taking one of animation’s more bizarrely profound turns when mirroring the big ogre’s existential turmoil with the world’s most perfect piece of pop poetry, Cohen’s “Hallelujah”. The film used John Cale’s mournful version (which is also features on the Basquiat soundtrack), while the soundtrack made Rufus Wainwright’s take popular. Whichever the version, including the song gives Shrek the appearance of depth and edginess unexplored in any Disney film.

Quote: And even though it all went wrong/I’ll stand before the Lord of Song/With nothing on my tongue but Hallelujah

 

Natural Born Killers (1994)

Natural Born Killers is a kind of psychedelic reimagining of Terrence Malick’s Badlands. The film boasts just glimpses of the brutal, clever, verbal script only Quentin Tarantino can produce, primarily because his screenplay was rewritten and, unfortunately, directed by master of cinematic hyperbole, Oliver Stone. Though the product is an over-the-top, trippy but captivating mess lacking the raw energy of anything Tarantino would go on to direct, it’s not entirely without appeal. Mashing together amped-up ideas from Bonnie and Clyde to Morton Downey, Jr. to some of the most magnificently brutal films in Hollywood’s closet, this picture certainly nails its tone. Just a little assistance in this venture comes from Cohen’s pessimistic premonition “The Future”.

Quote: When they said repent, repent/I wonder what they meant

 

Leonard Cohen: I’m Your Man (2005)

Given the volume of Cohen’s work sprinkled across films, it seems fitting to fill the screen and the theater with an entire picture dedicated to his work, as Lian Lunson has done with her documentary. Leonard Cohen emerges from his tower of song to share thoughts about poetry and stories about those elements that informed and propelled him. All the while some his most talented and devoted followers – whether it’s Rufus Wainwright’s playful cynicism with “Everybody Knows” or Antony Hegarty’s earnest energy with “If It Be Your Will” – treat us to his songs like prayers to something other than God.

Quote: But you’ll be hearing from me baby, long after I’m gone/I’ll be speaking to you sweetly from a window in the tower of song

 

 

Outtakes

Botched Heist Countdown

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The Drop opens this week, another of Dennis Lehane’s gritty crime dramas, this time starring the great Tom Hardy alongside the late, great James Gandolfini in his final performance. We’re eager to screen the film about a botched heist later this week, and thought we’d prepare for it with some of cinema’s best robberies gone wrong.

Dog Day Afternoon (1975)

Sydney Lumet’s excellent Seventies true tale covers what may be the oddest bank hold up ever. Al Pacino’s Sonny and his skuzzy friend Sal (John Cazale) hold up the Chase Manhattan in Brooklyn to pay for Sonny’s boyfriend’s sex reassignment surgery. Excellent writing feeds wonderful performances all around, but be sure to check out the documentary The Dog, proving that the real perpetrator, John Wojtowicz, exceeds all weirdness expectations.

Before the Devil Knows You’re Dead (2007)

Thirtysome years later, Lumet returned to the scene of a crime with his magnificent final effort. Family dysfunction has never looked quite like this, when two brothers (Philip Seymour Hoffman and Ethan Hawke) decide to rob their parents’ jewelry store. Surprising, devastating, and full of exceptional performances, it was a fitting send off for one of America’s finest filmmakers.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Jhrxn7QVDc

Reservoir Dogs (1992)

In 1992, Quentin Tarantino announced his presence with authority. His directorial debut takes us inside a botched jewel heist, introducing us to a modern filmmaking master, and taking classic rock radio to new and creepy heights.

The Town (2010)

Ben Affleck stars and directs this Boston crime tale about a thief who falls for a bank teller. He shows the ability to orchestrate ensemble drama and action that would mark his Oscar winning Argo, and draws truly excellent performances from Jon Hamm, Jeremy Renner, Chris Cooper, the great Pete Postlethwaite, and even Blake Lively.  Who knew?

Animal Kingdom (2010)

This Aussie export of the same year follows a newly orphaned teen welcomed into his estranged grandmother’s criminal family. Unsettlingly naturalistic, boasting exceptional performances all around – including the Oscar nominated Jacki Weaver – and impeccably written, it’s a gem worth seeking.

Outtakes, Slider

Fall Preview Countdown

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Football, honey crisp apples, leaves to rake – you know what that means? It means the cinema will turn from alien invasion bombast to thought provoking, character driven awards bait. Hooray!  Here are the ten fall movies we are most excited to spend time with between now and the holidays.

 10. The Hunger Games: Mockingjay – Part 1

Sure, it’s another blockbuster and hardly the kind of adult, autumnal fare you’ll find on the balance of the list, but we don’t care. We’re as geeked for Katniss’s next step as any 13-year-old girl. Director Francis Lawrence took the franchise into ingenious new territory with Catching Fire and we are eager to see where JLaw and team can take the political maneuvering next.

9. Fury (October 17)

Brad Pitt returns to Nazi Germany, but don’t expect the dark comedy of Inglourious Basterds. Writer/director David Ayer (End of Watch) is at the helm of what is being described as a brutal but honest look at WWII.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-OGvZoIrXpg

8. Whiplash (October 23)

The always spectacular J. K. Simmons and talented, young Miles Teller join forces in a cymbal-crashing boot camp for musicians. Buzz for this one is great, and we love Simmons, so we’re ready to rock and roll.

7. Men, Women & Children (October 17)

Jason Reitman made his first major misstep this year with the syrupy mess Labor Day, but we are optimistic he will recover with this ensemble drama about how technology is changing our personal landscapes. Co-writer Erin Cressida Wilson (Secretary) should help.

6. Rosewater (November 7)

Jon Stewart writes and directs this true story of a journalist imprisoned and tortured for simply reporting on Iran’s 2009 election. Clearly a topic close to Stewart’s heart, we are eager to see if he can do at the helm of a film what he’s managed to do with his comedy show: articulate the people’s need for unencumbered journalism.

5. Birdman (October 17)

Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu takes a break from heady, heartbreaking drama (Biutiful, 21 Grams, Amores Perros) for something lighter and a bit more meta. Onetime Batman, current struggling actor Michael Keaton plays a struggling actor once known for his role as a superhero. We are in.

4. Foxcatcher (November 14)

Steve Carell has gotten notice for an unforgettable and surprising turn in a true crime drama co-starring Channing Tatum and Mark Ruffalo. Director Bennett Miller (Capote, Moneyball) has done no wrong so far in his career, and we are intrigued to see where he takes us next.

3. Interstellar (November 9)

Because Christopher Nolan. If he’s directing, we’re in line for tickets, so this space exploration/wormhole business starring Matthew McConaughey (hey, he’s been a good bet lately, eh?) sounds like time well spent.

2. Gone Girl (October 3)

Who else would we line up to see no matter what? David Fincher, who helms this gritty crime drama about a missing wife and a husband who looks guilty. Ben Affleck stars, which is not always his strongest suit, but we’re betting on Fincher.

1. St. Vincent

Bill Murray plays the aging, boozy whoremonger next door who lends a hand to the neighborhood’s new single mom (Melissa McCarthy) in need of a babysitter. What could go wrong? We will be on hand to find out.

Outtakes, Slider

The Robin Williams You May Have Overlooked

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The shocking news of Robin Williams’s sad death brought back a flood of memories for the countless fans he entertained since the 1970s.

Most anyone you stopped on the street would have no trouble rattling off some of their favorites: Mork, Garp, Good Morning, Vietnam, Mrs. Doubtfire, The Birdcage, Aladdin, Dead Poets Society, the Oscar-winning performance in Good Will Hunting, the list goes on and on.

From movies to TV to standup to epic talk show appearances, Williams was such a unique, versatile talent that his absence just doesn’t seem possible.

He’s always been there, hasn’t he?

In a resume littered with hits (and, like any performer, some big misses), here are some highlights you may have missed:

 

The Face of Love (2013)

Williams plays a lonely widowed neighbor with a crush. Annette Bening is the object of his admiration, but she’s gotten herself into an odd relationship with Ed Harris. Though the writing isn’t strong, Williams and his veteran co-stars offer wonderful performances.

 

The Night Listener (2006)

Inspired by a true story, Williams is riveting as a radio host who becomes intrigued by the story of a young fan, only to find himself caught in a dangerous game of deception.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q-GUf9lLD4o

 

One Hour Photo (2002)

Speaking of dangerous, Williams gives a haunting performance as a lonely photo lab employee who becomes obsessed with a family that frequents his store.

 

Insomnia (2002)

2002 was the year Williams went dark. In this smart, tense thriller from director Christopher Nolan, Williams goes head to head with Al Pacino as a murderer drawing a famous cop into a cat and mouse game.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1OY5J11CWrE

 

The Fisher King (1991)

Williams’s zany brilliance is fully realized in director Terry Gilliam’s eccentric story of a suicidal man (Jeff Bridges) trying to atone for a mistake that forever altered the life of a homeless man (Williams).

 

RIP Mr.Williams, we’ll miss ya.

Outtakes

Sharks & Baseball? It must be August.

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Peanut butter & jelly. Chips and salsa. Sharks and baseball. Some things just go together. Yep, it’s the second week of August,and that means two things: the Little League World Series and Shark Week. It’s our favorite time of Cable TV year, and we’re celebrating with some equally Cable-ready flicks of a similar flavor.

Super Shark (2011)

Eventually, the best of the worst mutant animal films leap not from the big screen, but from SciFi network, and few things leap as well as a Super Shark! John Schneider tarnishes his reputation (yep, it’s that bad) in a film that pits a flying, hopping shark against a tank with legs. It kicks the shark. That’s worth seeing.

The Sandlot (1993)

“You’re killin’ me, Smalls!”

Okay, so young Scotty Smalls isn’t exactly a little league phenom, but when he moves to a new neighborhood, the local baseball star takes Scotty under his wing. Soon, he’s learning the game, enjoying plenty of teen adventures, and fearing the huge baseball-eating dog that lives behind their sandlot field. It feels like a summer version of A Christmas Story, but director/co-writer David M. Evans delivers a sweet, entertaining slice of nostalgia, especially for anyone who grew up playing sandlot sports.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-QDq-e1GbjE

Sharktopus (2010)

This is the one film on the countdown most likely to quench the thirst left by Sharknado. Roger Corman – the producer responsible for most of the films on SciFi, and quite possibly most of the worst films ever made – gave us this epic tale of a killing machine that’s half great white, half giant octopus. It’s enormous, unrealistic, and it brings an insatiable hunger for bad actors.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U87zVkIXNI0

Sugar (2008)

Filmmakers Anna Boden and Ryan Fleck (Half Nelson) offer an insightful tale about Dominicans chasing their dreams of playing Major League baseball and, in the process, deliver a quietly powerful take on immigration.

Open Water (2003)

Chris Kentis’s 2003 foray into terror is unerringly realistic and, therefore, deeply disturbing. It is easily the only excellent shark film since Jaws. From the true events that inspired it to one unreasonably recognizable married couple, from superbly accurate dialog to actual sharks, Open Water’s greatest strength is its unsettling authenticity. Writer, director, cinematographer and editor, Kentis clarifies his conception for this relentless film, and it is devastating.

The Bad News Bears (1976)

Buttermaker, Lupus, Tanner, Englepuke – aah, they’re all priceless. The least politically correct baseball film on this list, perhaps ever made, is a kids’ movie. It needs to go in a time capsule. Dozens of films from The Mighty Ducks to Hardball – plus two sequels and one reboot – have followed and failed because they can’t leave the redemption angle alone. What’s genius about this movie is that the level of redemption is not one spark grander than is absolutely necessary. And it manages to be the ultimate underdog kids’ baseball movie without ever being cute.

Outtakes

Countdown: Summer of SciFi!

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The summer of 2014 crapped forth yet another Transformers movie, so it shoulders that shame. But otherwise, it hasn’t been such a crummy season, especially if you are fan of science fiction. The season began a little early, back in April, with Scarlett Johansson’s hypnotic alien abduction poem Under the Skin. But come the hot weather, Hollywood kicked into high gear with few disappointments. Here are the best of the season.

5. X Men: Days of Future Past

Matthew Vaughn’s 2011 re-envisioning of this franchise worked miracles, thanks to an inspired rewrite of history and an even better cast. It was worrisome when the next in this line fell back to Bryan Singer, whose spotty cinematic output in the last decade suggested he may not be the man for the job. But, he proved game for the challenge, bringing the best of one X Men world (Hugh Jackman, obviously) together with the best of the throwback generation (everyone, basically: Michael Fassbender, Jennifer Lawrence and James McAvoy) for a time travel bit of wizardry, shape shifting and Seventies references. Hearing Fassbender quote James Brown is alone worth the price of admission.

4. Edge of Tomorrow

Why didn’t anyone see this gem? Aliens meets Groundhog Day may seem like a weird pitch, but good Lord is it entertaining! Tom Cruise may irritate many, but he brings it to a role that requires a complete reimagining of character by the time the credits role. Beyond that, he throws some unexpected and much appreciated humor at us while he relives the same horrendous day again and again in the hopes of finding a way to defeat an invading army of aliens. He has the help of Emily Blunt, and he – and we – should be grateful. In what amounts to the Sigourney Weaver role, Blunt flat out amazes. She has never turned in a weak performance, but who saw action hero in her future?

3. Dawn of the Planet of the Apes

It would have been hard to outdo 2011’s surprise hit Rise of the Planet of the Apes, but director Matt Reeves (Let Me In, Cloverfield) does just that. Though his sequel offers less intimacy and heartbreak, it takes the story of our quickly evolving simian cousins to an epic, even Shakespearean level. Remaining ever neutral in what amounts to a political thriller, Reeves never abandons the energy and imagery of a blockbuster, combining the two approaches to create an exceptionally entertaining whole.

2. Guardians of the Galaxy

Director James Gunn does Marvel fans right with one of the year’s most fun rides. Gunn nails the tone, the color, the imagery, and the sound of one Earthling dartin’ about space scavenging, smooching, and basically living the dream. The effortlessly likeable Chris Pratt leads a film, joined by ragtag misfits who collectively become the most enjoyable team of intergallactic scoundrels since Han Solo piloted the Falcon. This is the definition of a great summer movie.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=crIaEzXgqto

1. Snowpiercer

An immediate dystopian classic although badly under marketed, Snowpiercer went on to become the most buzzed about film of the summer, and with good reason. Visionary direction from Joon-ho Bong (The Host, Mother) gave the film a dizzyingly claustrophobic tension, while brazen casting victories (Oh my God, Tilda Swinton) and another solid lead turn from Chris Evans work together to create an enthralling allegory of the makers and the takers.

Outtakes

Countdown: Congrats, it’s Twins!

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This weekend marks the Twinsburg, OH twin festival. We have a particular weakness for the idea of this festival, and for films about twins, likely because Hope is a twin and her sister is bat-shit insane. She’s a vicious, hard-hearted killer. Wherever she goes, carnage follows.

We’re lying. She’s a lovely person, as are George’s twin sisters (see the unfortunate haircut pic below).

twins

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

We’ve noticed that a lot of onscreen twins are not so nice, though. Here are some of our favorites.

Dead Ringers (1988)

The film is about separation anxiety, with the effortlessly melancholy Jeremy Irons playing a set of gynecologist twins on a downward spiral. Director David Cronenberg doesn’t consider this a horror film at all. Truth is, because the twin brothers facing emotional and mental collapse are gynecologists, Cronenberg is wrong. Because of patient vulnerability, doctors who lose it are always scary, and Dead Ringers exploits that discomfort brilliantly. Irons brings such flair and, eventually, childlike charm to his performance you feel almost grateful. The film’s pace is slow and its horror subtle, but the uncomfortable moments are peculiarly, artfully Cronenberg.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_xmheE3L19c

Twin Falls Idaho (1999)

This is a lovely, haunting film clearly informed by Cronenberg’s twin flick, but the result is both slyer and more vulnerable. Written by, directed by and starring twin brothers Mark and Michael Polish, the film settles into a rundown motel where conjoined brothers seek their estranged mother, befriend a prostitute, attend a Halloween party, and separate to contend with the lonesome reality of individuality. It’s a hypnotic, weird but lovely ride.

The Other (1972)

Director Robert Mulligan (To Kill a Mockingbird) is a master of slow reveal, feeding us information as we need it and pulling no punches in the meantime. It’s rural 1930s, and Ada (Uta Hagen), the sturdy German matriarch who’s been trying to run the farm since her son’s death last summer, is troubled. Sweet Niles seems terribly confused about his twin, Holland. Holland’s the rascal and Niles is always worried about his mischief getting them into trouble. So, Ada worries about Niles, Niles keeps himself busy around the farm, and bodies pile up like lumber. Mulligan twists to that same nostalgic, heartland approach he used so beautifully with Mockingbird to inform a stunningly crafted, understated film that sneaks up on you.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HMmMqWkudgA

Basket Case (1982)

When super wholesome teen Duane moves into a cheap and dangerous NY flophouse, it’s easy to become anxious for him. But that’s not laundry in his basket, and it’s the lowlifes, thugs, and derelicts in his building who are in real jeopardy. Belial is in the basket. He’s Duane’s formerly conjoined twin. What he really is, of course, is Duane’s id – his Hyde, his Hulk, his Danny DeVito. And together the brothers tear a bloody, vengeful rip in the fabric of family life.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wtmLKrxR6H0

Stuck On You (2003)

Not all twin films are dark, brooding or horrifying. Stuck on You, for instance, follows a pair of amazingly well adjusted conjoined twins – optimistic ladies’ man Walt (Greg Kinnear) and supportive wallflower Bob (Matt Damon) – who decide to move to LA to follow Walt’s dream of acting. Expect Farrelly brother silliness, a good heart, fun cameos, and excellent onscreen chemistry from the twins.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=At-LrR-vqUk

Outtakes

Countdown: Supporting Characters that Need Their Own Movie!

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They come into our lives quickly, yearning for a state football title that never was, yelling “put that coffee down,” or jamming to Sister Christian on an awesome mix tape.

Then they’re gone..but never forgotten.

Here are ten supporting characters we’d love to see come back and take the lead:

 

Megan (Melissa McCarthy), Bridesmaids

Yes, please. Melissa McCarthy crafted a fully realized person with Megan, someone we kind of recognized, someone we’d like to see in almost any situation.

Carl Spackler (Bill Murray), Caddyshack

Drop us into Carl Spackler’s life at any point at all, and just leave us there for a couple hours. That’s really all we ask.

Blake (Alec Baldwin), Glengarry Glen Ross

We must have more! Alec Baldwin seared right through the celluloid with his one big speech, leaving us wanting more from this ball buster.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8kZg_ALxEz0

Rosalyn Rosenfeld (Jennifer Lawrence), American Hustle

Jennifer Lawrence so fully developed this relatively minor character that we were mesmerized, and we want to see more. Maybe show us her courtship with Irving, maybe take us to her new life with mafioso Pete. Hell, just leave us at home with Rosalyn, her son and her “science oven” – that would probably be entertaining enough.

Charlie Meadows (John Goodman), Barton Fink

Few filmmakers can pack a screenplay with more fascinating supporting characters than the Coens, and John Goodman’s had the great fortune of playing many of them. Walter? He could get a movie. Roland Turner, junky bluesman from Inside Llewyn Davis could probably shoulder a full film. But Goodman’s most mysterious and complex performance came as Barton Fink‘s unusual neighbor Charlie Meadows, and we’d like to know what made him tick.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xVCS9zV4wBo

Rahad Jackson (Alfred Molina), Boogie Nights

Indeed, almost every character in Paul Thomas Anderson’s brilliant Boogie Nights could hold our attention in a film of their own, but it’s Rahad Jackson, Night Ranger lover, who really piqued our interest.

Margie Hendricks (Regina King), Ray

Certainly Hendricks, longtime backup singer and secret girlfriend to Ray Charles, led a life fascinating enough to merit a film, but it was Regina King’s performance in Ray as the saucy, troubled chanteuse that compels her inclusion on this list. King ranks among the most underappreciated and versatile talents working today, but her turn in this biopic is her best.

Uncle Rico (John Gries), Napoleon Dynamite

What was high school like for Uncle Rico? Why is he living currently in that RV? What will his next business venture bring? Honestly, anything Uncle Rico does would entertain us.

Bobby Peru (Willem Dafoe), Wild at Heart

The David Lynch universe is populated by dozens of fascinating characters, including, of course, Dennis Hopper’s Frank Booth. But Bobby Peru is the one we just didn’t get quite enough time with. The most exciting item to hit Big Tuna since the ’86 cyclone, Bobby needs a full backstory movie.

Quint (Robert Shaw), Jaws

Here’s a guy who lived a life, workin’ for a livin’ and sharkin‘…right up until a shark ate him. We want to see some of his other adventures. You know, the ones he survived.

Outtakes

Countdown: Guilty Pleasures of the Eighties

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Hope is hosting a Girls Night Out event at Studio Movie Grill Arena Grand this Wednesday with a celebration of that great Eighties guilty pleasure, Footloose. That’s right, the epic about a town that has outlawed dancing! Well not if Kevin Bacon and his wifebeater have anything to say about it! Let’s hear it for the boy!

In case you have a hankerin’ for other of the great cheese decade’s guilty pleasures, we’ve put together a countdown of some of our favorites.

 

5. Monster Squad (1987)

Who remembers this one? A bunch of pre-adolescent monster movie nerds uncover a plot by Dracula and his minions to find an amulet (it’s always an amulet) and take over the world. Very Goonies-esque, with its band of misfits on a parent-free adventure, but less annoying, and with more monsters – always a plus!

4. Better Off Dead (1985)

The greatest offbeat Eighties heartthrob John Cusack stars as a dumped teen Lane Myers, who just wants to kill himself. Instead, he is bullied into a ski-off and stalked by his newspaperboy. It’s a ridiculous little comedy that both lampoons and celebrates its genre while throwing as many utterly bizarre sight gags at the screen as its 97 minute running time can handle.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DWTouGjZt6A

3. RoboCop (1987)

Paul Verhoeven infuses a weird sense of humor into one of the greatEighties exploitation features, about a dystopian Detroit and the part man/part machine/part repressed memories cop who will rid the city of crime. It’s an outstanding premise, brought to gloriously over-the-top life by Peter Weller as the titanium-and-kevlar crime fighter and Kurtwood Smith, always outstanding in a badass role.

2. Dirty Dancing (1987)

No way this movie should have worked as well as it did. Credit surprisingly insightful humor and a charmingly awkward performance by Jennifer Grey –  not to mention Patrick Swayze’s smooth moves – for a good girl/bad boy romance that overcomes some of its predictable trappings and many of its dialog pitfalls to leave us with a giddy fun mash note to romance.

1. The Lost Boys (1987)

The mullets, the pseudo-goth soundtrack, the Coreys – director Joel Schumacher’s only watchable film represents the very height of all things 80s. He spins a yarn of Santa Carla, a town with a perpetual coastal carnival and the nation’s highest murder rate. A roving band of cycle-riding vampires haunts the carnival and accounts for the carnage. While hottie Michael (Jason Patric) is being seduced into the demon brethren, younger brother Sam (Corey Haim) teams up with local goofballs the Frog brothers (Corey Feldman and Jamison Newlander) to stake all bloodsuckers. The film is mediocre at best, but anything that screams 1987 quite this loudly is just too garishly compelling to ignore.

Outtakes

Truly Biting Commentary: Our Luis Suarez Countdown

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It looks like poor Luis Suarez will have to keep up on FIFA action like the rest of us, what with his 9 match, 4 month ban from the sport after biting yet another opponent. If he misses the game, he can always catch it on the tube, but what if he misses biting people? What then?

Well, he and his predilections inspired this week’s countdown. Maybe it will help.

Jaws (1975)

An obvious inspiration to the man-hungry forward, Jaws is one of those films we’ve seen dozens and dozens of times, and yet, we cannot flip past it. If it’s on, it stays on. Although now, that face Quint makes as he’s straddling those monstrous mandibles makes us think of soccer.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IuZvLXqxzD8

 

Teeth (2007)

A film about being bitten when you are really not expecting it, Teeth may actually make Suarez’s victims feel a little better. There are worse times to feel chompers than during soccer action.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J-qd-k0Vg7s

 

Cape Fear (1991)

In 1991, Martin Scorsese dusted off a chilling old Robert Mitchum movie and put a simmer under a modern version of the tale. And while every moment leading up to this scene brings chills to the viewer, the  moment Scorsese turns thriller to horror and unleashes Robert DeNiro’s unholiness occurs when Max Cady’s date suddenly recognizes the unfathomable danger she’s in as he takes a bite out of her face.

Top Gun (1986)

If there’s one moment in Top Gun that shines brighter and weirder than all the rest, it’s not the volleyball scene, not the “need for speed” chant, not even the barroom sing-a-long. Tony Scott’s ode to male bonding unfurls its freak flag the moment Ice Man bites the air at Mav.

Tyson (2008)

Documentarian James Toback gets Tyson to speak candidly about the little piece of cannibalism that managed to shock the hell out of all of us, Evander Holyfield in particular. The fact that he had any ability to surprise or horrify us after his rape conviction – another topic covered, although maybe not as honestly – is impressive, in its own tragic way.