Matchbox: The Movie

by George Wolf

So, a toy movie? Like Barbie?

Well, that’s a stretch. And remember, Jaws is a shark movie, but so is Sharktopus.

Apple TV’s Matchbox isn’t sharkspoitation bad. In fact, if you just hang with its overlong runtime, the film finds an unabashed cornball groove that will bring both smiles and eye-rolls.

The title only refers to the fact that a group of middle school friends were Matchbox enthusiasts back in the day. Now, decades later, one of those friends is a secret agent while the rest stayed in small-town Ohio.

But after completing a dangerous spy mission for his boss (Danai Gurira), Sean (John Cena) goes back home to pay last respects to an old mentor. After sharing beers with the old Matchbox gang, they’re all drugged and pulled into a globe-trotting chase for a stolen bomb.

Good thing that Aimee (Jessica Biel), Ted (Arturo Castro), Crosby (Sam Richardson) and Charmaine (Teyonah Parris) all have skills that come in mighty handy in a save-the-world scenario. Director Sam Hargrave (the Extraction films) puts his action skills to work for a minor league True Lies that keeps a kid-friendly feel despite all the violence and explosions.

Why this is over two hours I don’t know, but everyone in this likable cast seems to be having a good bit of fun. Cue it up with a few cold ones after the kids go to bed, and Matchbox: The Movie should give you a bit of fun, too.

Expect some groans, as well, but that’s what the beer’s for.