So that happened…Chirpers 2: Electric Boogaloo

There’s been much hubbub around LinkedIn’s decision to blast an email congratulating “elite” members with notifications that their pages were among the site’s 1, 5 or 10% most viewed profiles. This notification coincided with LinkedIn’s celebration of breaking the 200 million member mark.

Many have pointed out that 10% of 200 million is a lot of people, which could make one feel less special, until they realize that the bottom 90% is even more people, so whatever. LinkedIn really just wanted to make you feel good about yourself so you’d subscribe to another of their services – one you pay for – but honestly, more people look at your profile than mine, so congratulations.

I bring this up, though, because of my office neighbors, the Chirpers.

These are the young telephone sales women who sit in a cluster of cubicles just outside my office door.

Chirper #1 (Alpha Chirper) announced loudly from her cubical, into the open workspace around her – teeming with people actually doing work – that she’d received such a notification from LinkedIn.

“Hey! LinkedIn just told me I have one of their top 5 most viewed profiles.”

It’s 5%, but you know, who’s picking nits here?

“Wow, that’s really great!” responds Chirper #2, with practiced awe.

“Yeah?” Chirper #1 retorts, full of indignation.

Again, let me point out that these humans do not stand up, visit the other’s cube, and converse. They shout over their mini-walls so loudly that I, in a neighboring office with my door closed, cannot help but hear them.

Especially when I am clearly eaves dropping.

“What?” Chirper #2 queries.

“Well, if that’s true, then why do I still have this job?!” answers  the miffed #1.

You are not in private, ladies.

Indeed, you are in a public space at the very job you apparently would like to use LinkedIn to escape.

Plus, has C#1 forgotten her important role as chief inspiration for our Department of Mockery?

Stay classy, Chirpers, and may your insatiable lust for attention forever draw eyes away from those countless hoards who do their slacking in secret.

Like, say, behind a closed door…on a keyboard…writing a blog.

But did you see what she’s wearing???


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