Bearded Ladies and Drunks in Bars
As far as I can tell, there are three undeniable truths in life.
- Kids are stupid.
- Boys smell bad.
- Weird things happen when you sit near the restroom in bars.
Here’s a tale to exemplify Point 3.
George and I were out recently, minding our bees wax and drinking a beer at a neighborhood establishment when a fellow imbiber stumbled toward the ladies room. Sure that was not the spot he wanted, George hollered after him: “Hey, that’s the ladies’.”
The fully bearded human turned around to respond, “I am a woman,” and then entered the ladies room.
We sat in astonished silence for a minute, and then commenced drinking.
Soon enough, Beardy McClearlyaman emerged from the restroom and meandered over to our table.
“A hole’s a hole, right?” he said.
“Just keep walking,” George responded.
“But I wasn’t walking,” Beardy said, clearly baffled.
“Then please do,” I piped up.
The guy stood there, confused and staring, then laughed, “Oh, right,” and stumbled off.
I swear to God this happened.
I don’t even want to talk about the guy who kicked the door open and shouted, still standing in the bar, “It’s shittin’ time, fellas!”
Although maybe that was like a public service announcement, I don’t know.